Plus, How to Discipline Stubborn, ‘Unpunishable’ Children
Fatherly
[[link removed]]
[[link removed]]
FOR MANY AMERICAN PARENTS, THE WORD “PUNISHMENT” EVOKES VISIONS OF CHILDREN
CRYING UNDER THE ADMONISHING GAZE OF RED-FACED ADULTS. THESE IDEAS OF ANGRY,
TEAR-INDUCING RETRIBUTION FOR MISDEEDS ARE TANGLED DEEP IN THE NATION’S
CALVINIST ROOTS. BUT AT ITS CORE, PUNISHMENT IS A SIMPLE AND USEFUL
PSYCHOLOGICAL TOOL. IT IS THE COUNTERPOINT TO ITS MORE GALLANT SISTER: REWARD.
WHEREAS REWARD IS A MECHANISM THAT INCREASES A BEHAVIOR, PUNISHMENT IS A
MECHANISM THAT DECREASES A BEHAVIOR. AS SUCH IT CAN BE SUBTLE, OR IT CAN BE
BRUTAL. BUT IT IS NOT A PUNISHMENT UNLESS IT DECREASES A BEHAVIOR. THE MOST
IMPORTANT POINT TO REMEMBER IS THAT PUNISHMENT SHOULD NOT ERODE THE FOUNDATIONAL
RELATIONSHIP BETWEEN A PARENT AND A CHILD. PUNISHMENTS, OR EVEN THREATS OF
PUNISHMENTS, THAT THREATEN A CHILD’S SENSE OF SAFETY, FOR INSTANCE, ARE
PARTICULARLY DAMAGING AND INEFFECTIVE. SO ARE PUNISHMENTS THAT ARE NOT TIED TO
REASONABLE CONSISTENT RULES. BUT USED WELL, DISCIPLINE IS A POWERFUL TOOL THAT
CAN HELP CHILDREN IN MYRIAD WAYS.
THE BIG PICTURE
[[link removed]]
[[link removed]]
DOES PUNISHMENT ACTUALLY WORK?
[[link removed]]
IT ENTIRELY DEPENDS ON WHAT YOU MEAN BY 'PUNISHMENT.'
[[link removed]]
READ THE STORY
[[link removed]]
[[link removed]]
[[link removed]]
ADVICE
[[link removed]]
[[link removed]]
HOW TO DISCIPLINE STUBBORN, ‘UNPUNISHABLE’ CHILDREN
[[link removed]]
YOU MIGHT NOT BE ABLE TO CONTROL THEIR BEHAVIOR, BUT YOU DO HAVE CONTROL OVER
WHAT THEY LEARN.
[[link removed]]
READ THE STORY
[[link removed]]
[[link removed]]
TIPS AND TRICKS
HOW TO GENTLY STOP A TODDLER FROM HITTING
TO REALLY KEEP A TODDLER FROM HITTING, PARENTS NEED TO DOUBLE DOWN ON KINDNESS
AND HELP THEIR CHILD PRACTICE ACCEPTABLE WAYS OF EXPRESSING THEIR ANGER. HERE
ARE FOUR STEPS TO KEEP IN MIND.
1. START WITH VALUES
THE FOUNDATION OF ANY DISCIPLINE, WHETHER IT BE FOR AN AGGRESSIVE TODDLER THAT
HITS OR ANY OTHER KID, SHOULD BE A SET OF WELL-ESTABLISHED AND WELL-COMMUNICATED
VALUES. WHEN A FAMILY OPERATES FROM A FOUNDATION OF PROSOCIAL, POSITIVE VALUES
IT BECOMES EASIER TO MAKE AND ENFORCE RULES.
2. MODEL THE BEHAVIOR YOU WANT TO SEE
THE BEST WAY TO HELP A CHILD LEARN MORE APPROPRIATE WAYS TO DEAL WITH THEIR
ANGER IS TO MODEL THAT BEHAVIOR YOURSELF. THAT MIGHT MEAN TAKING DEEP BREATHS
WHEN YOU’RE FRUSTRATED, GIVING YOURSELF A TIME-OUT TO COOL DOWN, OR SIMPLY
EXPRESSING YOUR FRUSTRATION VERBALLY, IN A CALM MANNER.
3. PRAISE NON-VIOLENT REACTIONS
WHEN YOU NOTICE YOUR TODDLER DEALING WITH FRUSTRATION IN AN APPROPRIATE WAY,
MAKE SURE YOU PRAISE THEM IMMEDIATELY. ALSO, MAKE IT CLEAR WHAT YOU’RE PRAISING
THEM FOR: “I REALLY LIKE THE WAY YOU CALMED DOWN!”
4. GIVE IMMEDIATE FEEDBACK AND REDIRECT
WHEN YOU SEE A TODDLER HIT, YOU SHOULD SAY “NO” RIGHT AWAY AND OFFER AN
APPROPRIATE ACTIVITY. IF A TODDLER HITS, GIVE THEM SOMETHING ELSE TO DO WITH
THEIR HANDS. IF THEY BITE, GIVE THEM SOMETHING APPROPRIATE TO BITE ON. YOU CAN
OFFER A CALM AND TO-THE-POINT EXPLANATION (“THAT HURTS!”), BUT IT’S NOT THE TIME
FOR IN-DEPTH ATTEMPTS AT REASONING. TODDLERS DON’T LEARN BY BEING TOLD. THEY
LEARN BY WATCHING AND DOING.
FURTHER READING
* THIS POSITIVE DISCIPLINE MODEL HELPS RESHAPE HOW YOU TEACH CHILDREN
[[link removed]]
* DISCIPLINE SHOULDN’T LEAD TO TEARS
[[link removed]]
* PUNISHMENT FOR KIDS WHO DON’T RESPOND TO PUNISHMENT
[[link removed]]
[[link removed]]
HEALTH & SCIENCE
[[link removed]]
[[link removed]]
WHAT AM I DOING TO MY KID WHEN I YELL?
[[link removed]]
SHORT ANSWER: YOU'RE SETTING YOURSELF UP FOR A LIFETIME OF SHOUTING MATCHES
[[link removed]].
READ THE STORY
[[link removed]]
[[link removed]]
FURTHER READING
* 6 MYTHS ABOUT WHAT HAPPENS WHEN A DAD YELLS
[[link removed]]
* HOW TO CONTROL YOUR ANGER WITH KIDS
[[link removed]]
* HOW TO RESTORE THE PEACE AFTER DISCIPLINING A CHILD
[[link removed]]
[[link removed]]
PARENTING
[[link removed]]
[[link removed]]
5 HARSH TRUTHS ABOUT TIME OUTS
[[link removed]]
TIMEOUTS MAY SEEM LIKE THE PERFECT SOLUTION FOR CHILD DISCIPLINE PROBLEMS, BUT
THEY ARE RARELY USED CORRECTLY WHICH MAKES THEM LESS THAN USEFUL.
READ THE STORY
[[link removed]]
[[link removed]]
[[link removed]]
MOVIES
[[link removed]]
[[link removed]]
THE MOST TERRIFYING AUTHORITY FIGURES IN KIDS’ MOVIES
[[link removed]]
OOOH THAT MRS. TRUNCHBULL STILL GIVES US NIGHTMARES.
[[link removed]]
READ THE STORY
[[link removed]]
[[link removed]]
[[link removed]]
You're receiving this email because you signed up to receive communications from
BDG Media. If you believe this has been sent to you in error, please safely
unsubscribe
[[link removed]].
315 Park Ave. South, New York, NY 10010
Copyright 2022 BDG Media, Inc. All rights reserved.
