The Key to Making Big Decisions with More Confidence
Fatherly
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MAYBE ONE PERSON MAKES MOST OF THE DECISIONS IN YOUR RELATIONSHIP. MAYBE YOU
EACH MAKE THE SMALL ONES AS YOU SEE FIT BUT COME TOGETHER WHENEVER THERE’S A BIG
DECISION. MAYBE YOU HAVE ANOTHER SYSTEM ALTOGETHER. AND IF WHATEVER IT IS WORKS
FOR YOU THEN THAT’S GREAT. BUT IT’S IMPORTANT TO HAVE AGREED ON WHAT MAKES
SENSE. EVERY COUPLE HAS DIFFERENT NEEDS, PREFERENCES, AND WAYS OF WORKING
TOGETHER. SO IT ISN’T NECESSARILY A PROBLEM IF ONE PERSON MAKES THE MAJORITY OF
THE DECISIONS FOR THE FAMILY. BUT THEN AGAIN, IT MIGHT BE. THE POINT IS, IF
YOU’RE NOT THINKING ABOUT THE POWER DYNAMIC IN YOUR RELATIONSHIP, RESENTMENT,
FRUSTRATION, AND OTHER SUCH NOT-SO-FUN STUFF WILL FIND THEIR WAY IN.
LOVE
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WHY LETTING YOUR PARTNER MAKE ALL THE DECISIONS CAN BE BAD FOR YOUR MARRIAGE
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IT'S NOT *NECESSARILY* A BAD THING. BUT WHEN BOTH PARTNERS ARE ENGAGED IN
DECISION-MAKING, IT'S OFTEN HEALTHIER AND MORE EFFECTIVE.
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READ THE STORY
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TIPS AND TRICKS
WANT TO MAKE BETTER DECISIONS? LEARN ONE ANOTHER’S STYLES.
DECISIONS TEND TO BE BASED ON THE IDEAS AND VALUES PEOPLE ARE EXPOSED TO GROWING
UP. MANY PEOPLE NEVER CHALLENGE THESE BECAUSE OUR BRAINS NATURALLY LOOK FOR
EVIDENCE THAT WE’RE RIGHT, NOT EVIDENCE THAT DISPROVES OUR VERSION OF REALITY.
EACH PARTNER, THEREFORE, ENTERS A RELATIONSHIP WITH A DIFFERENT ABILITY TO SHARE
POWER AND COMPROMISE.
“THOSE RAISED IN HOMES WITH PERMISSIVE PARENTS ARE USED TO DOING AS THEY PLEASE,
AND THEY BRING THAT STRONG WILL INTO THEIR MARRIAGE
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SAYS PSYCHOLOGIST WYATT FISHER. “IF YOU WERE RAISED AS AN ONLY CHILD, YOU DON’T
HAVE MUCH EXPERIENCE HAVING TO SHARE OR COMPROMISE. [AND] IF YOU WERE RAISED
WITH AN AUTHORITARIAN PARENT WHERE YOU HAD NO VOICE, YOU MAY GIVE IN TOO EASILY
AS AN ADULT.”
PEOPLE MIGHT FEEL STRONGLY ABOUT CERTAIN ASPECTS OF PARENTING THAT RELATE TO
THINGS THEY EXPERIENCED (GOOD OR BAD) WHEN THEY WERE CHILDREN.
“IN THOSE MOMENTS RELATED TO PARENTING, PEOPLE CAN GET DEFENSIVE AND CRITICAL
BECAUSE THE STAKES FEEL SO HIGH,” SAYS THERAPIST NIKKI LIVELY. “EVERYONE WANTS
TO BE A GOOD PARENT AND WANTS WHAT’S BEST FOR THEIR CHILD.”
CULTIVATING AN AWARENESS OF HOW YOU AND YOUR PARTNER APPROACH JOINT DECISIONS
CAN HELP YOU MAKE CHANGES AND AVOID UNHELPFUL PATTERNS.
FURTHER READING
* 10 SIGNS YOU’RE A BAD LISTENER
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* HOW TO GET PEOPLE TO ACTUALLY LISTEN TO WHAT YOU’RE SAYING
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* DO YOU KNOW YOUR CONFLICT STYLE? YOU SHOULD
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SELF
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THE KEY TO MAKING BIG DECISIONS WITH MORE CONFIDENCE
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IF YOU DON'T REALLY KNOW YOUR GOALS AND VALUES, YOU WON'T KNOW WHERE TO START.
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READ THE STORY
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MONEY
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8 EXPERT TIPS FOR ANYONE NAVIGATING TODAY'S ABSOLUTELY BONKERS HOUSING MARKET
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WINNING BIDS MEANS ADAPTING TO THE MOST COMPETITIVE MARKET IN DECADES.
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READ THE STORY
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FURTHER READING
* THIS MAP SHOWS JUST HOW EXPENSIVE RENT HAS RISEN IN EACH STATE
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* 15 THINGS TO KNOW BEFORE BUYING YOUR FIRST HOME
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* HOW MUCH HOUSE CAN YOU AFFORD? HERE’S HOW TO FIGURE IT OUT
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DRINKS
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THE BEST GIN FOR YOUR GIN AND TONICS
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AND WHATEVER GIN DRINKS YOU’RE MAKING
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READ THE STORY
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