The Relationship Check-In Is a Vital Part of a Happy Marriage
Fatherly
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DISCIPLINE IS TOUGH. WITH THE NUMBER OF TIMES KIDS NEED CORRECTION EVERY DAY,
IT’S UNDERSTANDABLE THAT PARENTS DEVELOP HABITS THAT AREN’T ALWAYS THOUGHT
THROUGH. IN A FLOOD OF SNAP JUDGMENTS, CHAOS MANAGEMENT, AND A DESIRE TO REGAIN
CONTROL OF A DIFFICULT SITUATION, INEFFECTIVE AND PROBLEMATIC AUTHORITARIAN
DISCIPLINE TECHNIQUES CAN SPRING UP. NOT ONLY DON’T THEY WORK, BUT THEY CAN ALSO
MAKE KIDS CONFUSED AND ANXIOUS. NOBODY WINS.
PARENTING
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3 INEFFECTIVE PARENTING STYLE HABITS THAT MAKE KIDS AVOIDANT
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WHEN KIDS GET ANXIOUS, THEY BECOME AVOIDANT INSTEAD OF LEARNING HOW TO HANDLE
SITUATIONS BETTER IN THE FUTURE.
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READ THE STORY
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TIPS AND TRICKS
HOW TO SAY NO WITHOUT REALLY SAYING NO TO A PRESCHOOLER
ONCE A CHILD REACHES PRESCHOOL AGE, HE OR SHE IS BEGINNING TO LEARN TO REASON —
AND MANIPULATION. THIS IS A GOOD THING FOR THEIR DEVELOPMENT AND CAN WORK IN
YOUR FAVOR. IN SITUATIONS WHERE YOU NEED TO GIVE A DENIAL, IT HELPS TO OFFER UP
ALTERNATIVES TO THE REQUESTED ACTIVITY, OR ALLOW A CHILD TO SORT THROUGH THE
PROS AND CONS OF WHAT THEY WANT, WITH A LITTLE NUDGE TOWARD THE NEGATIVE TO HELP
A KID ARRIVE AT THE DESIRED OUTCOME.
IF YOU’RE DENYING A REQUEST FOR SOMETHING MONETARY, LIKE THE PURCHASE OF A TOY,
YOU CAN USE THE OPPORTUNITY TO EXPLAIN MONEY TO THE CHILD, ADVISING THEM TO
SAVE. THIS STALLS THE DENIAL AND ALLOWS A CHILD TO SPEND TIME THINKING ABOUT
WHETHER THE RESULT IS WORTH THE EFFORT.
“YOU LET THE CHILD FEEL LIKE HE OR SHE IS A PARTICIPANT IN A DECISION,” SAYS DR.
SUSAN NEWMAN, A SOCIAL PSYCHOLOGIST AND AUTHOR OF THE BOOK OF NO, WHO EMPHASIZES
THAT CONSTANTLY CAVING TO A CHILD’S WANTS CAN HAVE CONSEQUENCES. “YOU’RE TRYING
TO RAISE A THINKING, FEELING, INDEPENDENT, RESPONSIBLE CHILD. IF YOU’RE GIVING
IN TO YOUR CHILD ALL THE TIME BECAUSE IT’S QUICKER AND EASIER, YOU’RE REALLY NOT
DOING YOUR CHILD A SERVICE BECAUSE YOU’RE NOT TEACHING HIM HOW TO BEHAVE.”
THERE ARE TIMES IN PARENTING WHEN SAYING NO AS A FORM OF CHILD DISCIPLINE
DOESN'T MAKE SENSE. HERE ARE SOME MORE TIPS FOR SAYING NO WITHOUT REALLY SAYING
NO.
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FURTHER READING
* I BRIBED MY KIDS WITH A REWARDS JAR AND MELLOWED OUT MY FAMILY
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* 5 HARSH TRUTHS ABOUT TIMEOUTS
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* HOW TO IGNORE A CHILD OR USE THE SILENT TREATMENT EFFECTIVELY
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MONEY
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CONFUSED ABOUT THE CHILD TAX CREDIT? HERE’S HOW TO GET THE REST OF YOUR CASH
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HERE'S WHAT FAMILIES NEED TO DO TO GET THAT $1800 CREDIT
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READ THE STORY
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LOVE
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THE RELATIONSHIP CHECK-IN IS A VITAL PART OF A HAPPY MARRIAGE.
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HERE’S HOW TO DO IT RIGHT.
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READ THE STORY
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TIPS AND TRICKS
THE “GENTLE STARTUP” IS CRUCIAL FOR A HAPPINESS
HAPPY COUPLES RARELY CRITICIZE ONE ANOTHER. THAT’S NOT TO SAY THAT THEY DON’T
GET ANNOYED OR FEEL THE NEED TO POINT OUT WHEN ONE OR THE OTHER IS COMING UP
SHORT. BUT IT’S THE WAY THAT THEY CHOOSE TO GO ABOUT IT THAT MAKES THE
DIFFERENCE. ATTACKING A PARTNER AND LAYING BLAME AT THEIR FEET WILL ONLY CREATE
MORE STRIFE. “THE ANTIDOTE IS A GENTLE STARTUP,” SAYS CARRIE COLE, A MASTER
TRAINER, AND DIRECTOR OF THE RENOWNED GOTTMAN INSTITUTE IN SEATTLE. THE GENTLE
STARTUP IS A WAY OF BEGINNING A CONVERSATION WITHOUT PUTTING YOUR PARTNER ON THE
DEFENSIVE. SHE OFFERS AN EXAMPLE: “‘I GET ANNOYED ABOUT THE DISHES IN THE LIVING
ROOM. I WOULD APPRECIATE IT IF THEY WOULD GET PICKED UP.’”
HERE ARE A FEW MORE RULES OF A HAPPY, LONG-LASTING MARRIAGE.
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PLAY
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IN 1995, BATMAN MADE THE MOST PERFECT MIXTAPE EVER
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SERIOUSLY. THERE'S LITERALLY NOTHING TO COMPARE IT TO.
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READ THE STORY
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