The Biggest Test My Marriage Ever Faced
Fatherly
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NO MARRIAGE IS EASY. THERE ARE UPS AND DOWNS AND ALL MANNER OF TESTS. THIS
SHOULDN’T COME AS A SURPRISE. THAT’S WHY BUILDING A STRONG FOUNDATION IS SO
CRUCIAL; IT’S WHY YOU DO THE WORK. WHAT IS OFTEN SURPRISING, HOWEVER, IS THE
ASSORTMENT OF CHALLENGES THAT APPEAR. THEY’RE NEARLY IMPOSSIBLE TO PREPARE FOR
AND CREATE CIRCUMSTANCES THAT CAN PUSH EVEN THE MOST UNIFIED COUPLES TO THEIR
BREAKING POINT. SO HOW DO YOU OVERCOME THEM? HERE’S WHAT DEFINES COUPLES WHO
MAKE IT THROUGH HARD TIMES.
LOVE
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THE BIGGEST TEST OUR MARRIAGE EVER FACED — AND HOW WE GOT THROUGH IT
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INFIDELITY. JEALOUSY. NEIGHBORS FROM HELL. A BABY THAT CRIED FOR THE FIRST YEAR
OF HER LIFE. THESE ARE THE BIGGEST CHALLENGES THESE 12 RELATIONSHIPS FACED, AND
HOW THEY MADE IT THROUGH TOGETHER.
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READ THE STORY
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TIPS AND TRICKS
WHAT HELPS COUPLES MAKE IT THROUGH TOUGH TIMES? ACCEPTANCE.
RESEARCH SUGGESTS THE MOST IMPORTANT INGREDIENT IN SUSTAINING A LONG-TERM
RELATIONSHIP IS EMOTIONAL ACCESSIBILITY OR AVAILABILITY, SAYS BRENT SWEITZER, A
LICENSED PROFESSIONAL COUNSELOR IN CUMMING, GEORGIA. THIS CAN SHOW UP IN MANY
WAYS, HE SAYS, BUT IT’S THE ANSWER TO THE QUESTION, “WILL YOU BE THERE FOR ME
WHEN I NEED YOU?”
PUT ANOTHER WAY, COUPLES ABLE TO WEATHER TOUGH TIMES TOGETHER TEND TO HAVE
ESTABLISHED EMOTIONAL SAFETY, SAYS JENNIFER VANBOXEL, MARRIAGE AND FAMILY
THERAPIST AND A TRAUMA RESEARCHER AND INSTRUCTOR AT MICHIGAN STATE UNIVERSITY.
“IT CAN BE REALLY DIFFICULT TO ACHIEVE, ESPECIALLY WHEN COUPLES ARE STRUGGLING,”
VANBOXEL SAYS. “BUT WITH THAT SENSE OF SAFETY AND SECURITY, PEOPLE FEEL THEY CAN
BE EXACTLY WHO THEY ARE IN THE MOMENT AND STILL BE ACCEPTED AND UNDERSTOOD.”
THE FREEDOM TO BE COMPLETELY YOURSELF DOESN’T MEAN YOUR PARTNER NEEDS TO ACCEPT
MISTREATMENT, HOWEVER. COUPLES WHO ARE EMOTIONALLY ACCESSIBLE TO EACH OTHER
PRIORITIZE MAKING THE OTHER PERSON FEEL SAFE, WHICH REQUIRES RESPECT AS WELL AS
ACCEPTANCE.
“YOU CAN’T FEEL SAFE WITH SOMEBODY IF YOU DON’T FEEL LIKE THEY VALUE YOU AS A
PERSON,” VANBOXEL SAYS.
HERE ARE SOME MORE TRAITS THAT OFTEN DEFINE COUPLES WHO MAKE IT THROUGH HARD
TIMES.
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FURTHER READING
* HOW TO CULTIVATE EMOTIONAL SAFETY IN YOUR RELATIONSHIP
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* THE KEY TO MAKING IT THROUGH MARTIAL ROUGH PATCHES
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* WHY YOUR MARRIAGE DOESN’T FEEL RIGHT WHEN NOTHING’S WRONG
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FINDING RAFFI
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RAFFI’S REFUSAL TO PLAY BIG ARENAS MAKES HIM A TRUE INDIE ROCK ICON
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THE UNDISPUTED KING OF KIDS’ MUSIC HAS SOME SERIOUS ROCK STAR CRED.
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READ THE STORY
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HEALTH AND SCIENCE
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NEW CDC CHART PROVES JUST HOW MUCH VACCINE DOSES MATTER IN KEEPING YOU SAFE
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THE DATA IS CLEAR: BEING VACCINATED IS ESSENTIAL, AND BOOSTERS HELP A GREAT
DEAL.
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READ THE STORY
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TIPS AND TRICKS
KNOW SOMEONE WHO IS VACCINE HESITANT? ASK QUESTIONS
PEOPLE’S MOTIVATIONS AND QUESTIONS ABOUT VACCINES CAN BE VERY DIFFERENT, BUT
THERE ARE COMMON THREADS THAT ARE HELPFUL WHEN HAVING A CONVERSATION ABOUT THEM,
SAYS CHRIS WYANT, EXECUTIVE DIRECTOR OF MADE TO SAVE
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A NONPROFIT PROMOTING VACCINATION. MAKE IT PERSONAL, TALK ABOUT YOUR EXPERIENCE,
SUCH AS ANY SIDE EFFECTS YOU HAD AND WHAT THEY WERE LIKE, HE SUGGESTS. INSTEAD
OF TELLING THEM WHY YOU WANT THEM TO GET IT, ASK WHAT QUESTIONS THEY MIGHT HAVE,
AND AVOID JUDGING THEIR DECISION.
ASKING QUESTIONS IS A POSITIVE WAY TO ENGAGE PEOPLE BECAUSE IT ENCOURAGES THEM
TO THINK FOR THEMSELVES AND POSSIBLY ANSWER THEIR OWN QUESTIONS. IF SOMEONE SAYS
THEY WANT TO WAIT TO SEE HOW THE VACCINE AFFECTS PEOPLE WHO HAVE GOTTEN IT, FOR
EXAMPLE, MAYBE ASK, “WHEN WOULD IT BE SAFE?” OR “HOW MANY WOULD HAVE TO GET IT
BEFORE YOU DECIDE IT’S SAFE FOR YOU AND YOUR FAMILY?”
IT COULD BE A WAY TO ENGAGE SOMEONE TO COME TO TERMS WITH WHAT THE REAL OBSTACLE
IS FOR THEM, SHE SAYS.
HERE’S SOME MORE ADVICE FOR TALKING TO FOLKS WHO ARE VACCINE HESITANT.
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DRINKS
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12 BOTTLES OF SINGLE MALT SCOTCH PERFECT FOR WINTER SIPPING
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HERE ARE 12 BOTTLES WORTH SAVORING THIS SEASON — AND SOME SIPPING ADVICE FROM A
FEW NOTED EXPERTS.
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READ THE STORY
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