TIPS AND TRICKS

What Helps Couples Make It Through Tough Times? Acceptance.
Research suggests the most important ingredient in sustaining a long-term relationship is emotional accessibility or availability, says Brent Sweitzer, a licensed professional counselor in Cumming, Georgia. This can show up in many ways, he says, but it’s the answer to the question, “Will you be there for me when I need you?”

Put another way, couples able to weather tough times together tend to have established emotional safety, says Jennifer VanBoxel, marriage and family therapist and a trauma researcher and instructor at Michigan State University.

“It can be really difficult to achieve, especially when couples are struggling,” VanBoxel says. “But with that sense of safety and security, people feel they can be exactly who they are in the moment and still be accepted and understood.”

The freedom to be completely yourself doesn’t mean your partner needs to accept mistreatment, however. Couples who are emotionally accessible to each other prioritize making the other person feel safe, which requires respect as well as acceptance.

“You can’t feel safe with somebody if you don’t feel like they value you as a person,” VanBoxel says.

Here are some more traits that often define couples who make it through hard times.

TIPS AND TRICKS

Know Someone Who Is Vaccine Hesitant? Ask Questions
People’s motivations and questions about vaccines can be very different, but there are common threads that are helpful when having a conversation about them, says Chris Wyant, executive director of Made to Save, a nonprofit promoting vaccination. Make it personal, talk about your experience, such as any side effects you had and what they were like, he suggests. Instead of telling them why you want them to get it, ask what questions they might have, and avoid judging their decision.

Asking questions is a positive way to engage people because it encourages them to think for themselves and possibly answer their own questions. If someone says they want to wait to see how the vaccine affects people who have gotten it, for example, maybe ask, “When would it be safe?” or “How many would have to get it before you decide it’s safe for you and your family?”

It could be a way to engage someone to come to terms with what the real obstacle is for them, she says.

Here’s some more advice for talking to folks who are vaccine hesitant.