TIPS AND TRICKS

How to Discipline Stubborn, Unpunishable Kids

Some children are uniquely stubborn and refuse to listen. When it comes to discipling them, it’s all about setting boundaries. Here’s how.

1. Recognize That You Can’t Change Them

“If you have a strong-willed child who doesn’t listen, who doesn’t like boundaries, or who is combative about them, acknowledge that you have no control over their personality, but you do have control over how they learn,” says parenting educator Sharon Silver, founder of Proactive Parenting and author of Stop Reacting and Start Responding.

2. Don’t Back Down in a Fight

Be very clear that you’re not giving up your authority. “You are drawing a line in the sand and regardless of emotion, it cannot be crossed,” Silver says. “When your child throws a tantrum or gets angry or shouts at you or acts aggressively, show them where the line is. Be the adult and take control of the action in the situation. Say, ‘I see you’re really angry. How can you make yourself feel better?’ This approach empowers the child and allows them to feel heard.”

3. Set Clear Rules, Before You Need Them

“As a family, you need to sit down at a normal time — not during or after a conflict — and make umbrella rules,” Silver says. “These umbrella rules are three simple rules that act as a navigation bar and set up the boundaries for behavior that applies to everything: friendships, school, home life, and public behavior.” These three rules are to be safe, be kind, and be respectful. Make it clear to your child that if a behavior isn’t safe, kind, and respectful, it isn’t appropriate.

For more, check out the full story here.

 — Dale Atkins, co-author of The Kindness Advantage: Cultivating Compassionate and Connected Children