Fatherly

 

It’s the universal wish when we open our mouths. We just want to be heard. And really, it shouldn’t be that complicated, although it gets that way, usually by our own doing. We pick the wrong time or place, forgetting other people have lives and busy schedules. Often, we’re guilty of trying to force our message on unreceptive ears. We start raising our voices, interrupting, and finishing other people’s sentences. It happens. But it’s not effective at all. So, how can you avoid these traps and get through to people? It’s about adhering to a few basics — and being careful not to “kitchen sink” your conversation.


    SELF   

How to Get People to Actually Listen to What You’re Saying


Master these expert techniques and you'll break through more often.

 
 
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TIPS AND TRICKS


Want to Be a Better Listener? Practice Quieting Your Mind.
Listening can be very difficult, especially when people are talking truthfully about emotional topics. Because people haven’t sorted through everything they’re thinking and feelings, often their words come out slowly or a little jumbled. Waiting for someone to work through what they’re feeling requires a lot of patience and self-control. Your mind will want to wander away from what the speaker’s talking about and toy around with easier, faster-moving, more comfortable thoughts.

Fight that impulse to retreat into yourself and let the conversation be about your partner. “Effective listeners take their ego and put it on the shelf,” says Leslie Shore, author Listen to Succeed. “There’s always a film of ego that gets all over what’s coming into you as a listener. This is where the biggest amount of practice is needed. The way you know that’s happening is that you have mind chatter. The moment that you have mind chatter, you need to put the ego aside and start listening.”


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