We all have our moments. Stressors are everywhere and, despite our best efforts to keep a cool head, anger takes over. The problem is that anger hijacks our brain and makes it difficult to process emotions and easy to say or do things that we don’t mean. So, what do you do? When you become so angry that you can’t process emotions anymore, how can you manage it? And what do you say when you’re too angry to talk? It comes down to understanding, managing, and explaining your emotions. This takes some practice, but it’s a skill well worth perfecting.

SELF

What to Say When You’re Too Angry to Talk

Even if you have no words, you still have to choose them wisely

TIPS AND TRICKS

About to Lose Your Cool? Debate Your Own Thoughts
Parenting (and life) can be tough. It’s easy to focus on the hard stuff, especially when you’re already stressed out. The problem is, letting your thoughts trail off unchecked can add to your sense of overwhelm. If you find yourself on the edge of losing your cool, Molly Dutter-Ansari, PhD, an assistant professor at Bradley University’s Online Masters of Counseling Program,says it’s important to check in with your thoughts. Are you catastrophizing something that could be managed, or being overly black and white about the situation you’re facing? If so, it may be time to infuse some logic into your irrational thinking.

For example, if your kid has been acting up way more than usual, you may be entertaining thoughts that parenting is miserable, and you’ll never enjoy being with your kid. Or if your marriage has been tough lately, you may find yourself thinking your relationship is destined to end.

While those things may feel real, chances are, you’ve gotten way ahead of yourself. Once you identify thoughts that are contributing to your stress, work on replacing them with more realistic ones — for instance, “This moment is hard, but I’ll work through it like I always have.”

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LOVE

How to Avoid Useless Parenting Fights

Every couple has parenting disagreements. The key is learning how to make them as productive as possible — and picking your battles.

TIPS AND TRICKS

Send This to Your Partner After a Big Fight

The Text: “I want to figure this out, and I hope we can find a way to do it while being kind to each other.”
Why? After a big argument you may be tempted to write something like, “I don’t want to fight…” But inserting a word like “fight” into the conversation, even with the best intentions, can create volatility or even come off as a slight threat, explains Dr. Mimi Winsberg. Instead, aim to suggest working things out rationally and peacefully. “In doing so, you emphasize kindness and still leave room for respectful disagreement,” she says.

Whether you want to send a tactful message of regret for taking things too far or a simple note to help you re-engage later, here are more important words to say after a big fight.

PLAY

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