The Parents Are Horny
Fatherly
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DEAR READER,
YOU MAY NOT REALIZE THIS, BUT EVERY TIME YOU VISIT OUR SITE YOU GIVE US A LITTLE
WINDOW INTO WHAT RESONATES WITH YOU AS A BUSY PARENT. THESE DAYS, YOU’RE
RESPONDING TO STORIES ABOUT THE BIG STRESSES AND LITTLE JOYS, THE FRUSTRATIONS
OF THE PANDEMIC AND THE NITTY GRITTY OF LIFE WITH KIDS. WE CAN SEE THAT YOU’RE
DOING — AND FEELING — A LOT. YOU’RE ALSO, APPARENTLY, QUITE HORNY. YOU
FREQUENTLY VISIT OUR STORIES ABOUT MASTURBATION
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AND ORGASMS
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HOW TO HAVE MORE SEX
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AND HOW TO BE BETTER WHEN YOU’RE HAVING IT
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LOTS OF YOUR QUESTIONS ARE CLEARLY ABOUT THE MYSTERIES OF CONCEPTION, BUT MOST
ARE JUST ABOUT PLEASURE AND HOW TO GET MORE OF IT.
FOR ALL THIS, WE SAY THANK YOU. YOUR HORNINESS IS A BEACON OF HOPE, YOUR
DEDICATION TO GETTING OFF A DAILY REMINDER THAT NO MATTER HOW TIRED, TOUCHED
OUT, FRUSTRATED, AND STRETCHED THIN YOU ARE, YOU HAVEN’T GIVEN UP OR SHUT DOWN.
THERE’S MORE GOOD STUFF TO BE HAD, WHETHER IT’S A SOLO QUICKIE DURING NAP TIME
OR AN EPIC ALL NIGHTER WITH YOUR SPOUSE (HEY, IT MIGHT HAPPEN, RIGHT?). EACH NEW
DAY BRINGS ANOTHER OPPORTUNITY TO ORGASM AND FOR THAT WE SALUTE YOU.
IN HONOR OF YOUR INDEFATIGABLE LIBIDOS, ROMPER AND FATHERLY HAVE TEAMED UP
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(IN THE PLATONIC SENSE) TO PUT TOGETHER STORIES ABOUT PARENTAL PLEASURE. YES, WE
TIMED THIS COLLECTION TO LAND AROUND VALENTINE’S DAY — DON’T LET THAT GOOD WINE
AND CHEAP CHOCOLATE GO TO WASTE! — BUT WE ARE CONFIDENT YOU’LL CONTINUE TO READ
THEM LONG AFTER THE LOVE HOLIDAY IS OVER. BECAUSE EVERY DAY IS A LOVE — AND SEX
— DAY ON ROMPER AND FATHERLY.
— TYGHE TRIMBLE, EDITOR IN CHIEF, FATHERLY
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AND ELIZABETH ANGELL, EDITOR IN CHIEF, ROMPER
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LOVE
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MAKING SENSE OF A LIFETIME OF LOVE, COMPANIONSHIP, AND SEX
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53 VALENTINE'S DAYS IN, ACCLAIMED WRITER MIKE SAGER SEES A RENAISSANCE IN HIS
SEX LIFE, STEMMING FROM WISDOM AND EXPERIENCE, GAINS AND LOSSES.
READ THE STORY
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“Looking back on a lifetime of love, my memories feel more ephemeral than
documentary. Like a Zoom meeting nobody remembered to record. Only screen shots
remain. Vivid bits and pieces, looks of love, stroke fodder, ghosts of pain and
pleasure.”
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FURTHER READING
* HERE’S WHAT MEN ACTUALLY WANT IN BED
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* 38 SMALL, NICE WAYS TO HELP YOUR PARTNER FEEL DESIRED
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* 16 DIRTY TALK PHRASES TO USE IN BED, ACCORDING TO SEX THERAPISTS
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SEX
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51 SEX TIPS FOR MEN WHO WANT TO BE GREAT IN BED
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BECAUSE EVERYONE COULD USE A FEW POINTERS.
READ THE STORY
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FROM ROMPER
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FEELING MYSELF: IN PRAISE OF MASTURBATION
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“WHAT I DO BY MYSELF, NO ONE ELSE CAN DO FOR ME.”
READ THE STORY
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TIPS AND TRICKS
SEX ADVICE FROM LONG-TERM COUPLES
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1) “EVERY SEXUAL EXPERIENCE IS NOT GOING TO BE FIRECRACKERS. I’LL TELL MY
HUSBAND, ‘BABE, COME HOME. I NEED SOME REAL QUICK AND THEN WE CAN GO OUT.’”
2) “MY BIGGEST PIECE OF ADVICE IS TO BROADEN YOUR DEFINITIONS OF SEX. IF YOUR
ROAD TO PARENTING HAS MEANT SOMEONE GAVE BIRTH, THAT BODY PROBABLY WORKS
DIFFERENTLY NOW. PENETRATION MIGHT NOT FEEL GOOD FOR A LONG TIME. FIND THINGS
THAT DO AND CALL THAT SEX.”
3) “YOU GET BETTER AT BEING YOU OVER TIME. AND THAT MEANS THE PERSON YOU’RE WITH
IS MAKING YOU HAPPY AND YOU ARE MAKING THEM HAPPY. IT’S MORE SPECIFIC, AND
YOU’RE JUST MORE GROUNDED IN WHO YOU ARE.”
4) WE’RE MORE UNCOMFORTABLE TALKING ABOUT IT THE OLDER WE GET. AND I THINK OTHER
THINGS IS, LET’S BE HONEST, YOU’VE GOT A LOT OF TESTOSTERONE WHEN YOU’RE YOUNG,
RIGHT? IT’S LIKE ALWAYS ON YOUR MIND AND NOW YOU DON’T HAVE AS MUCH
TESTOSTERONE. THE MOOD HAS TO BE RIGHT, THAT KIND OF THING. IT’S PROBABLY MORE
PRE-PLANNED THAN IT WAS. I FIND WHEN I ACCEPT THIS, THEN I CAN APPRECIATE WHAT I
HAVE, AND WHEN I FIGHT IT, [I] WORRY WHAT I LOST. SO MY ADVICE WOULD BE JUST TO
ACCEPT ALL THE CHANGES THAT ARE COMING TO YOU.”
FURTHER READING
* A LOVE LETTER TO MY MISSING SEX DRIVE
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* 15 PODCASTS ABOUT SEX THAT YOU NEED TO HEAR
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* 18 WAYS TO GET IN THE MOOD, EVEN WHEN YOU’RE AN EXHAUSTED PARENT
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ENTERTAINMENT
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GREAT MOVIE SEX SCENES STARRING ACTORS 40 AND OVER
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WHERE HAVE ALL THE SEXY ACTORS GONE?
READ THE STORY
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