TIPS AND TRICKS

Schedule Important Conversations With Your Spouse
“I share this advice over and over,” says Washington State couples psychologist and founder of the Couples Communication Institute Sarah Rattray. “Regardless of the unique concerns you and your partner are experiencing, learning to come together to talk them through together in a calm, relaxed state of mind opens the door to becoming a strong team together.”

Making time for a conversation establishes the importance of the topic you’re addressing and the relationship itself. Just as important, it helps both of you prepare. 

“Before your conversation time, take a few minutes to each do something that you find relaxing, such as a few minutes of deep breathing, a hot shower, or sitting quietly and petting the dog after a brisk walk,” says Rattray, who cites this as one of the most important habits a couples can build. While you set the scene, hone your argument. Pick a single, narrow topic to discuss. 

During the conversation, be patient and take turns speaking and listening. Once you understand each other, find out if you each just want to be heard before trying to solve any problems. “Talking in this way you can begin to feel like a refuge for each other in this pandemic world, which feels so healing and connecting,” Rattray says. 

Here are a few more pandemic-based relationship tips for couples.