An Exercise to Help With Uncertainty
Since anticipation is focused on imagined future events, it’s important to ground yourself in the present moment. One way to do that? Engage your five senses when you’re tempted to worry. Start by taking a few deep breaths and reminding yourself as scary as the future feels, it hasn’t happened yet. Then, choose a calming sensory experience to practice. Smell a calming essential oil or go outside and feel the breeze on your skin. Go for a walk around the block or turn on some music and do a dance party with your kids in the kitchen. Reminding your brain you’re in the present – safe and sound – will force you out of that future-focused feedback loop.
|
|
 |
|
Just in time for holiday shopping, newsletter subscribers (that’s you!) can get Fatherhood, the only complete expert-lead guide for dads, at a discount. Get one for your friends, family, and yourself. Promo code is 5FATHERHOOD.
|
|
|
We asked 19 therapists to share their go-to advice for couples. Here’s what they said.
Want a Happier Relationship? Be Mindful of Emotional Invalidation
What it is: When you tell your spouse how he or she should feel, using such phrases as “It’s not a big deal,” “Stop overreacting” or “You’re being too dramatic,” when they react a certain way.
Why It’s a Problem: Even if you mean it harmlessly, this kind of behavior sends the message that your spouse’s feelings are not important. “We emotionally invalidate because it soothes our anxiety and because it’s what we learned from our parents,” says Doug Noll, a lawyer and professional mediator. “However, emotional invalidation kills love, intimacy, and emotional connection. It destroys emotional safety.”
How to Prevent it: One tactic? Employ active listening. Hear what your partner is saying and, rather than dismiss it outright, reflect their feelings and show your understanding.
Here are a few more communication mistakes to be mindful of.
|
|
|
|
Have a question? Comment? Want to tell us a no-good terrible story? Or a helpful parenting tip? We want to hear from you (and yes, we may publish your response in an article or forthcoming newsletter).
Send your thoughts to [email protected].
|
|
|
|
|
|
