We live in a world where people get mad. Sometimes we’re the reason, so we apologize. Other times, we’re present as our spouse, friend, or relative is angry. Rather than be a pure witness, we want to help. Often, we tell the person “Calm down.” Good intentions, but bad execution. Because telling someone to calm down is as useful as eating soup with a fork. Here’s what to consider instead.
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About to Lose Your Cool? Debate Your Own Thoughts
Parenting (and life) can be tough. It’s easy to focus on the hard stuff, especially when you’re already stressed out. The problem is, letting your thoughts trail off unchecked can add to your sense of overwhelm. If you find yourself on the edge of losing your cool, Molly Dutter-Ansari, PhD, an assistant professor at Bradley University’s Online Masters of Counseling Program,says it’s important to check in with your thoughts. Are you catastrophizing something that could be managed, or being overly black and white about the situation you’re facing? If so, it may be time to infuse some logic into your irrational thinking.
For example, if your kid has been acting up way more than usual, you may be entertaining thoughts that parenting is miserable, and you’ll never enjoy being with your kid. Or if your marriage has been tough lately, you may find yourself thinking your relationship is destined to end.
While those things may feel real, chances are, you’ve gotten way ahead of yourself. Once you identify thoughts that are contributing to your stress, work on replacing them with more realistic ones — for instance, this moment is hard, but you’ll work through it like you always have. Says Dutter-Ansari, “Tell yourself why those thoughts are untrue, and be a support or cheerleader to yourself.”
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How to Toddler-Proof Your Christmas Tree
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Use a Christmas tree gate — baby gates or of child-safe indoor fencing will do — to create a strong barrier between the children and the tree.
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If the tree is placed up high, make sure it’s secured and on a surface that can’t be tipped or pushed over.
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If your tree is in the open, skip lighting and decorate with rugged unbreakable ornaments.
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Skip the tinsel, which can be a choking hazard.
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Trees are fire safety hazards, so keep it well-watered and away from heat sources.
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