So, you’re talking to your dad on the phone and the topic of the holidays comes up. He knows you’re planning to spend them with your in-laws because you’ve devised an every-other-holiday trade-off system, and this is your in-laws’ year. Fair is fair. But then, he says something along the lines of, “Well, I guess your mother and I will just have to hope we see the kids at some point this year…” Oh boy. Pack your bags, because dad’s taking you on a guilt trip. Guilt is a powerful emotion and when someone uses it to manipulate your behavior, it's easy to feel stuck. But there are ways to respond that help you regain control.
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Guilt is a powerful emotion and when someone uses it to manipulate your behavior, it's easy to feel stuck. Here's how to escape.
A Conflict Resolution Strategy to Remember: Mirror the Other Person
Why? When somebody is upset, especially during conflict, they often don’t feel heard or understood. Repeating their statements and explaining you understand why they’re upset can quickly show that you understand their perspective.
How It Works: By acknowledging their grievance in their language, you show that you’re listening and taking their complaint seriously. Statements like “Oh, when I made that joke about your job you felt really hurt” can quickly diffuse a situation. As Philadelphia-based family therapist Sarah Epstein notes, “When a person feels understood, there’s room to re-establish the sense of connection.”
Here are some more conflict resolution strategies to keep in your back pocket.
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Kids learn through play, plain and simple. So when it comes to introducing them to the world of STEM, it only makes sense to do it with a toy they'll reach for again and again. This season, we’re zeroing in on the GraviTrax PRO Vertical Starter Set. GraviTrax is a modular interactive track system that allows kids ages 8 and up to design and build their own marble runs, all the while encouraging them to experiment with gravity, magnetism, and kinetics. With 153 elements, this set offers everything they need to build three-dimensional structures, with endless possibilities to design a different track every time they play.
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Strengthen Your Feet with a Towel Scrunch
Chances are your feet aren’t as strong as they should be. Fix that by regularly performing some towel scrunches. Sit in a chair with bare feet. Place a towel on the floor, about two feet in front of the chair. Using the toes on your right foot, extend your digits across the towel, then contract them, scrunching your toes together and pulling the fabric close to your chair. Release the towel and extend your toes again, grabbing more fabric and you scrunch them together. Continue reaching and scrunching until you have created a balled-up towel in front of your chair. Do it three times.
Your feet are the foundation for everything you do, all day long. Here are some more exercises to make sure they are up to the task.
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The most important and most fun parenting book you’ll ever read is OUT NOW. In 17 joyous, expert-lead chapters, Fatherly rough-houses with a UFC fighter’s kids, unearths cultural practices where men feign pregnancy, and breaks down the nine essential conversations all parents should have (and have and have again). In between, you’ll find 20+ experts, illustrated guides, and loads of damn good advice.
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Have a question? Comment? Want to tell us a no-good terrible story? Or a helpful parenting tip? We want to hear from you (and yes, we may publish your response in an article or forthcoming newsletter).
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