So, you’re feeling a bit neglected by your partner. This isn’t unusual to experience, especially for parents, because — spoiler alert — kids change a lot about your life, including your relationship. Chances are, you planned for, or at least expected the change. But there are still times when you need a little more from your significant other. And that can be hard to admit to yourself and to them. Even so, it’s important that you explain what you’re feeling — so long as you do so mindfully.
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It can be hard to admit that you need a little bit more in your relationship. But it's a conversation worth having.
Feeling Lonely in Your Relationship? Acknowledge It.
The first way to overcome loneliness is simply to acknowledge it. Once you identify that you’re feeling lonely in your relationship, you can explore what’s causing it — and the steps you need to take to rebuild a connection.
Therapist Juliana Hauser, PhD, suggests a thorough self-reflection that allows you to honestly assess the origin of your loneliness. Be honest with yourself about whether your loneliness could stem from your own unrealistic expectations or lack of vulnerability, or whether it’s a two-way street. Once you take some time to think about what’s going on with you or your relationship, be ready to make changes, whether those changes are individual or a result of your dynamic as a couple. Keep an open mind, knowing that taking action — necessary as it is for a healthy relationship — may feel overwhelming at first.
“Action steps are a deeper level of commitment to change and this can be scary for some who have tolerated the loneliness for the trade-off of having familiar elements instead of seeking fulfillment, meaningful connection, and happiness,” says Hauser.
If you’re feeling lonely in your relationship, then consider this advice.
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The most important and most fun parenting book you’ll ever read is OUT NOW. In 17 joyous, expert-lead chapters, Fatherly rough-houses with a UFC fighter’s kids, unearths cultural practices where men feign pregnancy, and breaks down the nine essential conversations all parents should have (and have and have again). In between, there are 20+ experts, illustrated guides, and loads of damn good advice.
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Poems are a great way to get your kid to love reading; these five are excellent examples.
Want to Tell Better Bedtime Stories? Establish the Mood
According to Matthew Dicks, a novelist and a 29-time StorySLAM champion at The Moth, the right atmosphere is a crucial part of capturing your audience. You can create the right atmosphere for the story you’re reading through the appropriate intonation and physicality. For instance, Dicks will read Neil Gaiman’s Instructions to his kids calmly and quietly, because it’s a solemn book.
“I read that book slowly, and my words connect more smoothly,” he says. “I read it almost in a whisper, letting her know how important I think it is.”
Conversely, he’ll read B.J. Novak’s The Book with No Pictures loudly, standing up at times and gesturing wildly, because physicality is as important to creating the mood as intonation.
“Sometimes it’s actually my physical posture, the way I’m reading to the kids,” he says. “Am I up or am I relaxed? Do I pull them in closely to me?”
Here are some more tips to take your bedtime storytelling to the next level.
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