Want to improve intimacy and just get to know your partner — and yourself — better? Ask the right questions.
Want to Keep the Sexual Tension Alive in Your Marriage? Don’t Forget About Appreciation and Emotional Intimacy
In the throes of parenting, it’s easy for emotional intimacy to fall to the wayside. But maintaining it is essential for maintaining sexual tension. So do your share. Be supportive. Communicate. Pay attention to your partner’s handling of certain situations and be vocal about your appreciation.
“Appreciation is being seen for what you’re contributing, even if it’s mundane and routine,” says Dr. Emily Upshur, a licensed clinical psychologist in New York City. Check that. In other words: Parenting is a never-ending game of Did I Just Do Anything Right? It’s easy to feel doubt, let alone any sense of confidence. As a supportive spouse, it’s your job to step in and provide validation. The words can vary but the subtext remains: I saw that and I’m not keeping it to myself. When such needs are met, a relationship is on steadier ground and there’s more time to focus on other areas.
Here’s some more expert-advice on keeping the sexual tension alive in a marriage.
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Where’s the road map for new parents? Glad you asked! Fatherhood, by the editors of Fatherly, is a comprehensive parenting guide that walks dads through everything they need to know over the course of the first year of a baby’s life and beyond. It’s full of practical tips (everything you need), as well as work-life balance guidance (this is crucial), relationship advice (doubly crucial!), and as well as tons of expert-driven analysis that will help guide parents through a truly disorienting time. Pre-order it now and get the first copies on November 9.
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Two Stretches for Anyone Who Sits Too Much
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Cobra
Lie face down on the floor, elbows bent and hands by your shoulders. Push through your arms to raise your chest off the floor. How far you can lift depends on how tight your chest area is. Raise yourself to a comfortable stretch, keeping your head up and eyes raised. Hold for 30 seconds, then release.
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Figure Four
Start facing something you can hold onto for support, like the edge of a table, towel rack, or back of a couch. Cross your right foot over your left knee, keeping your bent right knee out to the side so that your legs form the shape of the number “4.” Holding the support in front of you, bend your left knee and sink into the stretch, which you’ll feel in your glutes and iliotibial band (along the outside of your leg). To achieve a deeper stretch, bend the left knee more. Hold 30 seconds, then repeat on the opposite side.
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Have a question? Comment? Want to tell us a no-good terrible story? Or a helpful parenting tip? We want to hear from you (and yes, we may publish your response in an article or forthcoming newsletter).
Send your thoughts to hello@fatherly.com.
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