Want to turn those acquaintances into something more? Great. Here’s what to do.
Want Closer Friends? Give Yourself Permission to Be Vulnerable
It’s common for men to avoid emotional intimacy outside of dating and marriage. “It’s a human need, but we have conditioned men to think that the only place that it’s safe for them to get intimate needs met is in romance,” notes Shasta Nelson, a friendship expert who’s explored the intricacies of non-romantic relationships, in books, presentations and partnerships with such companies as Facebook. “And so we don’t allow men to get some of their closer, more meaningful needs met, except for romantic relationships.” Adds Dave Grammer, a Los Angeles therapist specializing in men’s mental health, men are expected to power through whatever comes up and not be bothered by anything, thus talking to a male friend about being scared or hurt is discouraged. Overcoming the social taboo on talking about these emotions is the key to converting friendly acquaintances into real friends. It may feel like a risk, but it’s certainly one worth taking.
Making friends as an adult can be hard. These tips can help.
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Where’s the road map for new parents? Glad you asked! Fatherhood, by the editors of Fatherly, is a comprehensive parenting guide that walks dads through everything they need to know over the course of the first year of a baby’s life and beyond. It’s full of practical tips (everything you need), as well as work-life balance guidance (this is crucial), relationship advice (doubly crucial!), and as well as tons of expert-driven analysis that will help guide parents through a truly disorienting time. Pre-order it now and get the first copies on November 9.
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How to Teach a Kid to Wait
Waiting is hard for young children who spent infancy being picked up, fed, and entertained. But it’s also inevitable. Around toddlerhood — really as soon as they can understand — kids are asked for something altogether new: patience. This is tough for kids but also important. Teaching little kids how to wait isn’t just instilling this virtue of patience in them, it shapes the kind of adults they’ll become. Here are a few pointers to keep in mind.
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Be consistent in explaining how to wait, particularly when safety is concerned.
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Make what naturally comes after waiting, like play after clean-up, it’s own reward.
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Don’t bribe kids to wait because it might teach them to always expect a reward for reasonable behavior.
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Turn waiting into a game by being engaged during wait times with your child.
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