TIPS AND TRICKS

Want to Keep an Intense Argument from Spinning out of Control? Stay Solution Oriented.

When couples argue, very often they tend to hammer at the problem over and over again, outlining what is wrong, why it’s a problem, and who’s responsible. This does nothing but fuel anger and resentment on both sides. Instead, try your hardest to state the problem up front and then offer — and focus on — solutions. Saying something like, “I know it makes you angry that I don’t always get to the dishes; what’s a system we can put in place to make sure they’re done?” can help defuse an argument before it gets worse. “What has happened in the past is past. Look for a way to avoid it in the future,” says Susan Petang a lifestyle and stress management coach. “Asking your partner to come up with a solution or offering a collaborative solution makes it more likely they’ll stick to an agreement.”
 
Here are a few more tactics to keep an argument from spinning out of control.