5 Responses to Say Instead of “Maybe”
1. The Straight Negation: “No. Because …” Make sure to provide reasons that are consistent with family rules and values
2. The Straight Affirmation: “Yes.” But make sure that whatever is being agreed to happens within a reasonable time. Right after the request is best, but if that doesn’t work offer a deadline.
3. The Affirmation, With Strings: “Yes, but …” Whether the contingency is completing or engaging in certain behavior make sure a kid has goals and a clear path to achieving them
4. The Delay Due to Outside Circumstances: “I will make a decision about this when … ” Makes sure delayed decisions connected to needed information have a deadline and it’s clear what needs to be known.
5. The Delay Because You Need More Time: “I will answer after …” Be clear about when an answer can be expected. Make it sooner than later and stick with your timeline.
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Two Signs That a Friend or Colleague is Toxic to Your Mental Health
1. The Person Blame-Shifts
The first thing to know: Toxic people are self-centered, and that usually becomes obvious in conflicts. For example, Dan Auerbach, director and clinical counselor with Associated Counsellors & Psychologists Sydney, says toxic people commonly blame others for hiccups in relationships that actually aren’t the other person’s fault. So in a toxic friendship, you might find yourself feeling unnecessary shame or guilt, and consequently finding ways to “make it up to” the person out of fear of conflict.
For example, say your friend suddenly stops replying to your calls and texts — and when you bring it up, they say you’re too needy. “If this behavior is repeated, it’s likely that person has difficulty with intimacy and turns around on others by blaming those who try to get close to them,” Auerbach says.
2. They’re Somehow Always Right
Along the same lines, Megan Harrison, a Tampa-based therapist, says toxic people typically like to be right, even about things they did wrong. “This person will find a way to justify every action and has no guilt or remorse for anything that happens,” she says. That means you might walk away from interactions with a toxic person feeling unheard, misunderstood, and manipulated.
Here are a few more signs that someone is toxic to your mental health.
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