Building a healthy relationship takes a lot of work. All intimate partnerships, for example, require traits like trust, respect, empathy, and teamwork. But at the root of all those things is something much more important. For any intimate relationship to survive and grow, there must be a shared sense of emotional safety. That is, one partner must feel confident enough to show their real selves to the other because they know their vulnerability won’t be received with judgment or criticism. It means your partner is comfortable with showing you their inner world, and that they trust you will always be there — even when things get messy. No intimate relationship can thrive without that sense of safety.
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3 Ways to Build Trust in Your Marriage
1. Align your words and actions
In any important relationship, trust will grow when your words consistently match your actions. On the flip side, if you do one thing and say another, you’ll form a breach. Focus on doing what you’ll say you do and keeping your promises. “If you say you’re the most important person in the world to me yet consistently prioritize work and friends and time at the gym over your time with your partner, the disconnect between your words and your actions can seriously damage trust in the relationship,” notes California-based marriage and family therapist Amber Trueblood.
2. Show Respect
Respect, which can be conveyed in the tone of your words, the time you spend together, and the support you show for your partner’s feelings and interests, is another core component of building trust in a relationship. If you feel like your partner is struggling to trust you, rebuild it by showing you’re listening and prioritizing an emotional connection rather than being right – even if you don’t necessarily agree with your partner’s take. “Listening and seeking to understand rather than question your partner’s perceptions can truly help restore trust in a relationship,” says Trueblood.
3. Compromise Your Values
It can be difficult to trust your partner when you feel your values are at odds. If your top priority is fun, but your partner values safety, your partner might (understandably) struggle to cede territory to you. If this is the case, put everything on the table and talk it out. Name what your core values are and come up with ways to honor both. For example, brainstorm ways to have fun without making your partner feel like you don’t care about safety, and vice versa.
Here is some more expert insight into what building trust in a marriage really requires.
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As we move fully into work-from-home season, you may find yourself staring at your current desk and longing for an upgrade. With five stars and more than 6,000 reviews, this standing desk converter — that is, it lets you convert your desk from sitting to standing height with the click of a button — is a great choice. It holds a laptop and a monitor and has a removable keyboard tray. It’s the converter to use if you want to be able to lift your entire desk up — coffee, keyboard, and all — without adjusting anything.
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"Love what you do and you'll never work a day in your life," or so the old adage goes. Except that's not really true, is it?
Thinking About Quitting Your Job? Ask These Questions First
1. What do you love and hate?
Rate all the parts of your job; pick the three-five that are great and two-three that you’d change. Your list could include Zoom calls, the inability to travel, no longer being challenged/excited. You can suss out what’s specific to that place, easily replicated somewhere else, and what’s pandemic-specific, and the assessment can help you decide if your situation needs a wholesale change or just some patience.
2. What are your priorities now?
What made you take this job, be it money or advancement, might not fit your current situation. The pandemic, and life with young kids, could have shifted what you want and don’t want to do now. Nothing you decide must be forever, so another good question is, “What do you want in the next 1-3 years?” You can get stuck worrying about college savings and this shrinks the timeline down to a non-overwhelming scale.
3. What initiative have you taken?
Before you leap, ask if there’s anything you can do to reshape your present. It might mean asking for new responsibilities, or it could be shifting your attitude or behavior, particularly to a difficult boss or colleague, because those kinds of people don’t change. One good move is to request a performance review, something that might have been a pandemic casualty. It’s a way to check-in and see what your future looks like, but, most importantly, it gets you and your boss talking.
Here are some more questions to ask if you’re thinking about quitting your job.
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