3 Ways to Maintain a Happy Marriage When You Have Kids
1. Set Boundaries
“Intentionally setting boundaries around the marriage is what will keep it happy through the child-rearing years,” says couples coach Leslie Doares. “This means keeping kids out of the bedroom most of the time, having regular dates (even if you don’t leave the house), going on adults-only vacations and deciding to limit extra-curricular activities. Too many parents buy into the idea that children must be involved in every activity open to them or they show interest in. This can be costly in terms of time and money. It’s okay to say ‘no’ to some things. It’s okay for your children to be disappointed sometimes. It actually prepares them for the real world.”
2. Check In Regularly
Everyone knows communication is key, but it’s all too easy to disregard the actual work of communication in the daily grind of parenting. “In my experience, the most important thing parents should do to maintain a happy marriage while raising children is to schedule regular time to discuss issues, practicing effective communication techniques,” says parenting coach Elisabeth Stitt. “Of course, parents need to work out logistics of who’s going to pick up whom when, but they also need time to discuss the bigger issues that can tear a couple apart like ‘What constitutes a discipline problem and how should discipline problems be dealt with?’ or ‘What is the right balance between warmth and connection and maintaining high expectations?’”
“Being on the same page about questions like how and what kind of involvement the in-laws should have or how many and what kind of activities the kids should be involved in greatly reduces parenting stress,” Stitt continues. “Reduced stress allows parents to function more graciously and flexibly, giving them more resources for handling the inevitable chaos that comes with parenting.”
3. Learn How to Move on From Arguments
One of the defining aspects of a strong marriage is the ability to get past a fight. “It doesn’t matter if you argue, because all couples do, it’s about coming back to the table afterwards and talking about what happened and owning your part,” says marriage and family therapist Melissa Davis Thompson. “It’s important so issues don’t get stored away. It allows a couple to share deeply how they feel without being angry or frustrated during an argument.”
Here are a few more suggestions couple’s therapists have for maintaining a happy marriage post kids.
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If you’re in search of a safe kid’s bike seat that allows kids to join you on rides, this popular rack is an excellent option. The easy-to-use rack-mounted rear bike seat has an adjustable five-point harness, a childproof safety buckle, built-in reflectors, and safety light attachments for added visibility, as well as adjustable footrests and straps. The weight limit is 48.5 pounds.
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A Four-Pronged Approach to Help a Shy Kid Feel More Comfortable
It’s common for kids to feel shy in certain situations. Here’s how you can help them handle those feelings better.
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Arrive early. Showing up to a new situation or environment early allows a shy child to get acclimated, as well as feel as if the newcomers are joining them.
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Arrange for them to engage in a new activity before signing them up for planned lessons. For example, allowing a kid to play in the pool before swimming lessons will raise their comfort level.
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Encourage your shy child to speak first, and with a planned statement, when in public. Speaking first or early is easier than waiting your turn.
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Accept your child’s inversion as a gift and not a challenge. Understand that your child’s introverted behavior is a matter of personal discomfort and not rudeness.
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