Even if your temper never leads to violence or shouting, it still affects your relationships — and the mental health of everyone in your family. Here’s how to control it.
3 Things to Do When You’re Feeling Frustrated with Your Partner
1. Put Yourself in Their Shoes
Try to look at the situation from your partner’s side. Ask yourself how you might feel, or how you might react. Chances are you’ll be in a better place. “Think of how this situation is related to other situations for your partner,” says relationship coach Cheri Timko. “This is not your interpretation, but what you know they would say if they explained it to you.” If you’re stuck, Timko suggests writing a letter from them to you explaining their experience in the situation.
2. Ask For Their Input
Why? Because how else are you going to get to the root of your frustration? The key is calm. Talk to your partner and ask them to explain the reasoning behind their actions and emotions. Listen and ask questions to try and gain some understanding. “It is important that you choose a good time to ask so you both stay calm,” Timko says. “You may not get the opportunity to describe your part. But knowing what is happening for your partner will help you deal with it better.”
3. Have a Plan
If you’ve been with someone long enough, you usually can start to tell when things are going badly. When you sense a tense situation beginning to brew, it might be wiser to try and nip the argument in the bud before it gets worse. “Know ahead of time what are the signs and symptoms that your frustration and irritation are growing and what you need to do to manage them,” says Timko. Calling a timeout and returning to a conversation when you’ve cooled down (and re-engaging with it) is always an excellent strategy.
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We’re teaming up with Paid Leave for the United State (PL+US) to support a national paid family and medical leave program in the US. Fatherly already signed on to a letter from the business community to Congress asking for them to pass paid leave. Will you join us?
Right now, Congress has the chance to make sure that nobody in the U.S. has to choose between taking care of their health or their family, and keeping their paycheck. But it will take all of us speaking out loudly to make it happen. Too often, good policies end up on the congressional cutting room floor as a result of compromises and deals. Tell Congress that cannot happen with paid family and medical leave—paid leave must stay in the bill.
Email your Member of Congress NOW: Tell them to prioritize and pass paid leave in the American Families Plan.
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