Sometimes, it feels like the world is just taunting you. There’s that jerk who took your parking spot and avoided eye contact. The punk who just dropped their used coffee cup on your sidewalk. The stranger who tried to discipline your jig-acting kid. How could your anger not get the better of you? The answer to that is, with practice. With discipline. And with a coping mechanism or four. Anger is a natural emotion that everyone experiences. What you do with it is up to you.
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Keep Your Anger Under Control with These Techniques
Take Responsibility for Your Own Feelings
“Change the conversation you are having with yourself. Negative self-talk is not helpful. Take personal responsibility for your feelings rather than blaming others, and challenge your automatic thinking,” says Cathryn Leff, LMFT, CCTP, PhD Candidate. “Also, practice thinking like an optimist. Always view the glass as half-full. And adjust your expectations. Do you expect too much of others? Do you expect too much of yourself? This only fuels anger.”
Put Your Anger in Context
“Learn how to scale your own anger,” says Carla Buck, MA, LMHCA. “The better you get at using your own ability to register your anger, the better you will get at calming down. First try to figure out what happens when you get angry. What do you do? What do you feel — hot, cold, head throbbing, etc.? Then ask yourself how angry you feel on a scale of 1 to 10. If it’s a 9 out of 10, then ask yourself what you can do to move to an 8 or 7 out of 10. Bonus points for asking a partner for accountability to help you do this in the heat of the moment.”
Disrupt Your Thought Process
“Use the ABC model from Rational-Emotive-Behavioral Therapy,” recommends psychologist Dr. Nancy Irwin. A: What is Activating you? B: What is your Belief about that activator? C: What are the Consequences resulting from this belief? This quick technique allows you to “unplug” from absolutes about an activating person or event and remain as neutral as possible. It’s about responding vs. reacting, or accepting vs. trying to be right. It’s easier said than done, but this technique empowers one more rapidly than all the other useful tools of breathing, grounding, taking a walk, or writing out your thoughts.”
The purpose of these anger management exercises is not to ignore the emotion, but to find ways to recognize and control it. Here are some more to try.
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Consider this your new favorite polo shirt. Lululemon takes the wardrobe staple and upgrades it in two important ways: First, the fabric is more comfortable, breathable, and a better fit (there is maybe no better brand for performance fabric). Second, Lululemon’s patterns make you a little less of a chameleon, a little more Bowerbird.
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Want to Increase Gains and Avoid Injury? Workout Your Wrists
Seriously. These three exercises are a great place to start.
- Palm Stretch
What it does: Stretches the ligaments (known as palmar radiocarpal, dorsal radiocarpal, ulnar collateral, and radial collateral) on both sides of your wrist.
How to do it: Extend both arms in front of you, palms facing the ceiling. Take your left hand and grab the fingers of your right hand. Gently pull them down toward the floor while holding your hand steady. Flip your right hand over so that your palm now faces the floor. Again pull your fingers down toward the floor with your left hand, feeling the stretch along your right forearm. Switch sides and repeat.
- Wrist Curl
What it does: Strengthens underside of wrist, known as your flexor retinaculum.
How to do it: Grab a pair of light (2-5 pound) weights (or something simple like a soup can). From a seated position, bend your arms, place your forearms on your thighs, and face your palms skyward, holding a weight in each hand. Curl your wrist toward your body, then release. Do 10 reps, 4 times. (Top tip: When you finish your sets with palms facing up, turns your palms toward the floor, and go again—raising your knuckles toward to sky with each reverse-curl to work your extensor retinaculum.)
- Wrist Rotation
What it does: Improves 360-degree range of motion while strengthening ligaments.
How to do it: Using light weights in each hand, and stretch your arms out in front of you. Begin to rotate your wrists in opposite directions (one clockwise and the other counterclockwise), making 10 air circles with the weights (keep your arms still). Stop and rotate your wrists 10 times back in the other directions. Repeat two times.
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Black Boy Joy
This collection of 17 short stories celebrates Black boyhood is excellent. We recently featured Lamar Giles story, “There’s Going to Be a Fight in the Cafeteria on Friday and You Better Not Bring Batman,” which you can read here.
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The Past and the Curious
Unfortunately, Vin Diesel is not the host of this podcast. But the show, which features comedic actors performing little-known stories from history in a playful manner, is a great listen.
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Have a question? Comment? Want to tell us a no-good terrible story? Or a helpful parenting tip? We want to hear from you (and yes, we may publish your response in an article or forthcoming newsletter).
Send your thoughts to [email protected].
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