Hopefully, you’re doing the basics: eating well, exercising regularly, and trying to get plenty of good sleep. But to stay happy, healthy, and present for your family, you have to take care of your mental health, too. Recently, we spoke to a variety of therapists about what mental health tips dads specifically should adopt. Will all of them work for you? No. But a few will, and you’d be smart to fit them into your daily routine.
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How to Get Over Teletherapy Awkwardness
1. Jot some notes down beforehand.
Come with notes about topics you want to discuss that week. Staring blankly at each other over Zoom will get you nowhere.
2. Confirm you have a good internet connection.
Lengthy delays, fuzzy video quality, and audio going in and out can make video therapy a chore. No one wants to repeat an emotional rant because their audio went out.
3. Find a quiet space.
If you’re trying to keep your voice down so your wife doesn’t hear you talking about relationship troubles or you’re interrupted every five minutes by your kids, you’re not going to be able to connect with your therapist. Look for a therapist who can see you early in the morning or late at night if that’s the only time you can get alone
Taking steps to care for your mental health is important. If you’re interested in trying therapy (hell yeah!), here are some tips for finding the right therapist for you.
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The thing creates foam. Lots of it. Yes, it’s the perfect toy.
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8 Communication Traits of Happy, Healthy Marriages
They're essential for a long lasting union. Read more here.
1. They Do Daily Appreciations
A simple note, text message, or compliment can go a long way in a relationship. It makes them feel valued, and states clearly that their efforts are not going unnoticed. “The number one correlation with happiness in couples is the number of appreciations they give to each other,” says Jonathan Robinson, a couple’s therapist and author of More Love, Less Conflict. “We forget to do daily appreciations.”
2. They Listen Actively
Robinson recommends ‘empathic listening,’ which entails listening and responding not with solutions or options but with such phrases as, “I can see that you’re upset because…” That level of understanding can help couples diffuse arguments relatively quickly. “It’s hard for couples to do this because they get triggered so easily, and they don’t know this skill,” says Robinson. “So it’s really important that they practice it with small things before they get triggered. so that when they’re triggered, they’ll still be able to do it.”
3. They Embrace the Power of the Time Out
A marital disagreement can go from a spark to a five-alarm blaze with one wrong word. To keep that from happening, Robinson recommends putting the brakes on a disagreement before it gets out of hand. “If you see you’re getting hot and heavy and upset, use the phrase ‘red light,’” he says. “That’s a signal that you should take minutes to just quiet down and say nothing and calm down. By the time you’re back, you’re more likely to be in the rational part of your brain and not be upset.”
The only way to truly see yourself in your relationship is to ask for your partner's honest opinion. But it’s all about asking the right questions.
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I am in good health. But time is not guaranteed. Were I to die tomorrow, I want my sons to know these lessons.
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When I am hard on you, I do it because I believe it is a lesson you need to learn. It is a behavior I need to correct. It is a mistake that I have made, and I don’t want you to repeat it.
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Have a question? Comment? Want to tell us a no-good terrible story? Or a helpful parenting tip? We want to hear from you (and yes, we may publish your response in an article or forthcoming newsletter).
Send your thoughts to [email protected].
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