It’s easy to roll your eyes anytime you hear marriage advice that sounds vaguely like a “hack”. The reason is simple: Building a relationship takes time and effort; maintaining and repairing one requires the same. There are no easy solutions. This isn’t to say, however, that there aren’t useful ways of looking at your relationship to help it stay in (or bring it back to) a happy place. Take, for instance, the 5:1 ratio, which relationship guru Dr. John Gottman has dubbed the “Magic Ratio.” Apply it to all of your relationships, and chances are you’ll notice some positive change. It’s not a hack; it’s just a smart approach.
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Keep the 5:1 ratio in mind and good things will come your way. Read the story.
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How to Keep a Happy Marriage Happy
It takes time and work and a few simple rules.
1. Be Friends, But Also Have Friends
The increased life satisfaction researchers associated with married people was twice as great when participants felt their spouses were their best friends, according to a study published in 2014. It’s important to remember, however, that “best friend” shouldn’t mean “only friend”. Couples need to have space from each other, notes John DeFrain, PhD., professor emeritus of family studies at the University of Nebraska. “Oak trees won’t grow in each other’s shadow.”
2. Think Like a Team
Teamwork really does make the marital dream work. People in successful relationships feel supported and assured that their partner will always be on their side. In a true partnership, you hurt when your partner hurts, and a problem for one of you is a problem for both of you.
“It’s not codependent but interdependent,” says licensed marriage and family therapist Dana McNeil. “It’s thinking, ‘My life wouldn’t be the same without you’ and ‘I know what to expect with you even though the entire world is chaotic right now.’”
3. Keep It on the Positive
For little ones: have your kid try to find something outside that starts with A, and then B, then C, and so on until you get to Z. For older kids: Have them pick the left or right side of the road, and you’ll take the other. You each find the letters in order in the world (a sign with an “A” on it), and the first one to complete the alphabet wins. Good, healthy competition.
To read the entire article, click here.
The 5:1 Ratio is excellent to keep in mind. Another tactic that’s just as powerful? Imagine a neutral third party is present and observing you anytime you have an argument. Sounds strange, but the radical communication technique works.
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Want an espresso but don’t have chunks of time to devote to the shot-making process? The Bambino delivers for parents who want a decent espresso in a hurry, without much fuss: It heats up in three seconds.
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Need to lose weight? A daily jog is not going to do it. Here are the heart-working, full-body muscle-building moves you need. Read more here.
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3 Rules of Weight Loss
Before you can start burning fat, you need to get in the right mindset.
1. Focus on the Now
Getting back on the bandwagon is especially tough if you’ve let yourself go for a few months. All the more reason to look at what you can do right now, not what you used to be able to do. Look at each day as a new opportunity to do your best in terms of your health, exercise, and nutrition.
2. Get Rid of Temptation
If you don’t see it, you’re less likely to eat it. It’s really that simple. So next time you grocery shop — go with a full stomach and an open mind.
3. Block Off Your Daily Dose
Some research points that the morning is your prime fat-burning time. Other studies point to the early afternoon. The one sure piece of advice: If you don’t workout, you don’t burn calories. Schedule your workout on your calendar as an appointment. When life gets in the way — reschedule for another part of the day.
Click here for some more strategies.
Diets come and diets go, and it’s probably best if you skip that temptation altogether. Take the carnivore diet, that all-meat-all-the-time fad with its ripped poster children. Sure, it works…to a point. But there’s a cost.
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My father left two unfulfilled dreams behind when he died: to have grandchildren and own an Airstream. This year, I took his unfinished dreams on the road, to scatter his ashes in the waters off Key West.
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"I’d been living alongside my father’s ashes for five years; they resided in a zip-tied bag, sealed in a black plastic box, inside another box, placed under our bed. And all that time they lived in my mind, too. Silently asking for the right moment and place to be scattered. It was finally time to let them go."
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