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by Cliff Schecter
In just 17 days, we perform all the usual rituals. An oversized disco ball drops in Times Square. We raise glasses of bubbly and toast to the future. And we share resolutions most will never keep.
And this year we have a special addition—special in the sense that Patrick Bateman (Christian Bale) was special in American Psycho. Because when the clock strikes midnight on December 31st, 2025, Republicans will rob 22 million Americans of their ability to access treatment should they fall ill or become injured.
They will do this knowing full well their callous indifference will cause untold suffering and kill Americans—including millions of Republicans. Marking the end of the GOP as any kind of long-term party in America.
Yes, folks, this group of selfish, greedy, sleazy, pedophile-protecting clods—who should be charged with trademark infringement for using the same name and symbol for their feudal, multi-level marketing scheme as American heroes like Lincoln, Grant, TR, and Ike used to run for office—become more preposterous by the day.
Like these parasites who rely on Trump to tell them what to think, say, and when to go potty, also sink further into a dementia mirror-universe because he does [ [link removed] ].
There are certainly no lack of examples of their glib dishonesty and putrid amorality. But if you want one that perfectly sums up the Jonestown GOP Caucus, you couldn’t do much better than their nonchalance at allowing enhanced Obamacare subsidies, the only way millions of Americans can afford healthcare, to just disappear.
Like Mike Johnson’s testicles when Trump enters the room.
Ok, so here’s your basic story, in all it’s repulsive Republican perfidy:
On December 11th, the U.S. Senate held two votes, rejecting a Democratic attempt to address the imminent expiration of Affordable Care Act (Obamacare) premium subsidies that’ve helped cap costs for millions of Americans.
The Democratic bill would’ve extended these life-saving subsidies for three years.
But Republicans rejected it, because they dutifully care about fixing the health care system are owned by the sick, elite predators who possess Epstein ethics. So they put Senate Leader John Thune out front. A man only there to add a bit of charm to their chronic manipulation, cruel deceit, and decrepit superego.
Basically, Thune is the GOP version of drawing a smiley face on a turd and then claiming it smells like roses.
So Thune filibustered this simple, common-sense bill to extend subsidies, and it failed to reach the 60 votes needed under the (anti-constitutional) filibuster. Then he offered an, um… “alternative.” I’ve been advised by legal counsel that I can’t call it a plan, or I’d open myself up to lawsuits from libeled, pissed-off real plans [ [link removed] ].
This jerk-store offering would terminate all additional ACA subsidies, diverting—and I’m not joking—$1,000–$1,500 per person to health savings accounts (HSAs). Why didn’t the GOP just go for broke and offer a few scratch ‘n sniff lottery tickets, New York City Subway tokens circa 1999 and a few used tissues they found in their pockets?
To state the obvious, $1,000 [ [link removed] ]is [ [link removed] ] [ [link removed] ]far below what anyone needs to afford coverage [ [link removed] ]. It’s just an enormous scam, like Karoline Leavitt saying she married for love as she retrieves her husband’s bedpan.
So, Health care premiums will skyrocket for up to 24 million Americans, one in eleven of us, on January 1st, but, hey, they’ll have that tax-free $1000! Don’t spend it all in one place!
Ok, actually, they won’t have that, because it was smartly voted down for being so stupid it failed Trump’s cognitive test. If I recall, it said: “man, person, woman, Trump recession, you pardoned a huge Honduran drug trafficker, so stop with your horseshit lies about Venezuela.”
Close, but no porn star during Shark Week, if you will.
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Meanwhile, everyone with an ounce of intellectual honesty—in other words, almost nobody in today’s corporate media [ [link removed] ]—will offer the context that this party of amalgamated chum has claimed for a decade they have a “plan.” Just to fart out a term paper an hour before class.
One that’s grossly insufficient and a middle finger to every single person purchasing insurance on ACA exchanges. Just a reminder, the ACA subsidies enacted during the COVID era substantially reduced premiums and expanded coverage; letting them lapse means replacing a working system with the intellectual equivalent of supply-side economics or creation science.
And Americans—including many Republicans, which we’ll get to in a minute—will be incredibly pissed and inevitably die because of it. Meanwhile, Thune and Fox & Friends will jet off on their Christmas vacations, not a care in the world. I mean, what would they worry about? We pay for their very good, guaranteed healthcare!
But don’t worry, these shape-shifting, DOGE-infected imps offering a whole $1,000 “tax-advantaged” credit ensured the top marginal tax rate was lowered from 39% to 37.6%. So malfunctioning protocol droid cum portly yacht-kateer raised by Apartheid AI—also known as Elon Musk—will be just fine as he gets the first trillion-dollar payoff in world history (while sucking at his job).
Also somehow getting by, the $40 million second-wedding man, and the slimy, sweaty guy who won’t STFU about his puerile, Anti-Christ theory while in a totally non-concerning way is collecting data on all of us.
That should make us all feel better, we and the people we know suffer directly because of their abject cruelty. I mean, hey, you may have a preventable fracture or 103.5 fever, but at least Republicans have engaged in an orgiastic showering of tax breaks and subsidies on the billionaire objects of their eternal affection.
The only other thing they can do that provides that dopamine-ketamine hit like they’re visiting their unofficial party headquarters on Epstein Island.
You want a dopamine hit of your own, though? Ever see a modern political party purposely self-immolate? You haven’t?? Weren’t around for The Whigs? Well, then you have quite a treat coming your way.
Trump is already as popular as untreated chlamydia, and increasingly, the bankrupt farmers, fired government workers, and failed small businesses because of someone’s stupid tariffs are leading his voters to turn against him. Not to mention the Epstein cover-up.
So this jack-wad with the 36% approval rating—assisted by his little Senate helpers—is now going to kick many of these 24 million Americans off Obamacare due to nothing but cruelty [ [link removed] ]—and surprise(!), half of them are Republicans.
Of those, 6 in 10 support extending the subsidies, as do 8 in 10 independents.
So ya know, good luck with things when you add that five or 10, perhaps 15 million people to the record number who already realize they were conned by a diaper-clad doofus who can’t stay awake for 20 minutes during a meeting.
After the recent election destruction, with Republicans losing 14-16% of their support, it is realistic to ask if the GOP will just be a regional rump party in 15-20 mostly rural states with the GDP of a block in New York City. Maybe 11th Avenue in the 70s.
The level of utter political idiocy Republicans are about to engage in is hard to overestimate. But that’s what having ideologues, cranks, fundies, freaks, and Scott Jennings as your base will do.
So, in my best Marco from Tropoja voice from the film, “Taken”: “Good Luck.”
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