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This week’s Unbelief Brief dives into the dark undercurrents of “honor” and control—both abroad and at home. EXMNA Insights also examines the religious reasoning behind cousin marriages in Muslim societies. Plus, a heads-up for our Denver readers: Saudi activist Jasmin Faulk is speaking out about Western complicity in propping up extremist narratives. Don’t miss it!

Unbelief Brief

In Pakistan, a viral video of an alleged honor killing has circulated online. NBC News reports that the video depicts “two people [being] forced out of their vehicle by a group of men and led away at gunpoint before they are shot multiple times at close range.” Initial reporting suggested that the two victims, a man and a woman, had married “against their family’s wishes.” However, authorities now say the motive for the killing was that both victims were married and engaging in an extramarital affair with one another. 

Honor killings, particularly in rural areas, occur with relative impunity in Pakistan. But this particular case seems to have generated enough chatter and outrage for authorities to make arrests. Among those arrested is a local tribal chief accused of ordering the murders. The enforcement in this case is unfortunately unlikely to do much to end the barbaric practice, which is rooted in Islam’s doctrine of sexually and socially controlling women. The brutality of this particular instance has roots in Islam’s penchant for cruel and unusual punishment: the Qur’an prescribes 100 lashes for adultery, and several hadiths go further, recording that the Prophet ordered stoning adulterers to death. 

Even in the West, honor killings are not unheard of. The trial of two Washington parents accused of attempting to murder their daughter “for refusing to travel to Iraq for an arranged marriage to an older man” continues. In the past week, jurors heard testimony from medical professionals, including a forensic nurse examiner who examined the victim after her father tried to strangle her. The victim “had neck pain, hoarseness when she spoke, a sore throat and difficulty and pain in swallowing,” according to the examiner, along with petechiae. The victim herself reportedly believed her death was imminent, along with a “fuzzy feeling like her whole life was flashing before her eyes.”

Jurors also saw police body camera footage of the incident and heard testimony from police officers who were at the scene. Officers reportedly “described hearing Mrs. Ali [the mother] claim her daughter’s teenage boyfriend was changing her daughter’s mind and was a danger to her.” The motive for murder is as clear as it gets, and the testimony and footage leave little room for a legal defense.

Finally: the UN has expressed “concern” over the Taliban’s arrests of women and girls for hijab violations. It is a sad state of affairs when “concern” is all any body of international law can muster in response to the unbelievable oppression occurring in Afghanistan.

EXMNA Insights

National Cousins Day, on July 24th, offers an opportunity to reflect on family relationships often defined by closeness and familiarity. In Islam, however, cousins are religiously permissible as marriage partners. 

According to Qur’an 4:23, a list of mahram (unmarriageable kin) is outlined, and cousins are notably absent. As non-mahram, cousins are treated as potential spouses under Islamic law. This means that women are required to wear the hijab and observe modest behavior around male cousins, despite often growing up with them and interacting like siblings. The classification shapes social boundaries, formalizing interactions between individuals who, in many other cultures, are seen as firmly within the inner family circle.

In South Asian Muslim societies, older cousins are often referred to with kinship honorifics like bhai (older brother) or baji/apa (older sister), reinforcing familial closeness. Yet despite this sibling-like framing, these individuals remain religiously permissible for marriage, sometimes leading to arrangements that feel at odds with the social language used to describe them. 

Islamic law also permits marriage to a parent’s cousin, relatives often perceived socially as uncles or aunts, further illustrating the gap between cultural norms and legal permissibility.

Cousin marriage remains popular in many Muslim-majority countries, not only for religious reasons but also due to some practical advantages: it helps retain wealth and property within the family, ensures social cohesion, and strengthens extended kinship ties. Population level data shows that the majority of consanguineous marriages occur in the Muslim and Muslim-majority world with over 60% of all marriages in Pakistan occurring between cousins. 

While genetic risks in cousin marriages are documented, the religious and cultural roots of the practice continue to influence its widespread acceptance.

On the Horizon

For our readers in the Denver area:

Author and Saudi activist Jasmin Faulk will be speaking on Saturday, July 26 at 5:30 PM at the Secular Hub (254 Knox Court, Denver, CO 80219).

Her talk, titled:

Heroic or Harmful? The West’s Role in Perpetuating Islamic Extremism and Its Dangerous Consequences on Women

Faulk challenges the West’s romanticized view of Islam as a “religion of the oppressed,” exposing the brutal realities of its institutionalized practices—particularly their impact on women. She will confront uncomfortable truths about cultural relativism, misplaced solidarity, and the global consequences of looking the other way.

This is a ticketed event. For details and tickets, visit:

https://www.secularhub.org/calendar/eventdetail.php?id=181

Until next week,

The Team at Ex-Muslims of North America

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