BY MATT BERG & CROOKED MEDIA |
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We renamed the opera house at the Kennedy Center for the first lady.”
— Rep. Mike Simpson (R-ID), jumping the gun on a bill that House Republicans advanced today. |
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Donald Trump pitches himself as the ultimate man of peace, with a unique ability to settle global conflicts. In reality, his efforts are flailing — and he just fired a top team of peacemakers.
- President Donald Trump swaggers around as if he were a future Nobel Peace Prize laureate, a one-man peacemaking machine, with divine authority to wade into the world’s most intractable rivalries and resolve them with a few mean tweets. “My proudest legacy will be that of a peacemaker and unifier,” Trump declared in his inaugural address.
- His hubris helps explain why the State Department just haphazardly fired more than 1,300 employees, in what’s been called “the most damaging brain drain in the State Department’s modern history.” But Trump may need them: Russia and Ukraine are still fighting. Israel is still rampaging through Gaza. There’s no new nuclear deal with Iran, only simmering tensions in the wake of U.S. strikes that failed to take out the country’s key nuclear sites.
- And there is a good chance Trump may come to regret decimating the State Department’s diplomatic corps — including an obscure four-person team that helped secure the administration’s biggest wins to date, known as the Negotiations Support Unit.
- “These were the top experts on peace negotiations in the world,” one longtime foreign service officer, who was recently fired, told What A Day. “They are experts in writing treaties, truces, ceasefires, and new constitutions — and they’ve done it all over the world.” The unit was housed in the Bureau of Conflict and Stabilization Operations, which was eliminated entirely.
- This little team punched far above its weight. Its résumé includes work on Trump’s top issues: Lifting sanctions on Syria’s transition government. Handling fraught negotiations between Russia and Ukraine toward an elusive ceasefire. Helping to create the next transition government in Haiti. The unit proved critical during the Biden administration, working on peace talks amid Sudan’s civil war, supporting negotiations in Yemen with Houthis rebels and securing a ceasefire between Ethiopia and Tigray in 2022.
Without the Negotiations Support Unit, “easily avoidable mistakes will be made,” one person with knowledge of the team’s work told What A Day.
- These four people were on-demand experts that Trump’s top officials could call up if they had any questions. They were essentially in-house expert consultants with security clearances. They had decades of combined experience and could offer advice on complex foreign policy topics on a dime, or connect them with relevant folks across the administration and around the world.
- “Now, there’s no number to call,” the person with knowledge of the team’s work told What A Day. “Say we need a ceasefire drafted. How do we create a back channel for negotiations? How do we quietly start talks? How do we set the agenda, set the table, for convening a talk? How do we make our first offer? All that kind of stuff.”
- Do you really think Trump — or Secretary of Everything Marco Rubio — knows how to do any of that? Probably not! Any administration needs people with a deep knowledge of history and technical expertise for the most complicated foreign policy issues, said Rep. Sara Jacobs (D-CA), who introduced a bill last year to make the unit permanent. (The team formally launched in 2022.)
- “Eliminating the Negotiations Support Unit, which houses that expertise, as well as the entire CSO Bureau, ultimately makes the American people — whether at home or abroad — less safe,” Jacobs told What A Day in a statement. “I will keep fighting for this unit and CSO’s vital functions to be codified in law.”
Trump promised to end the Russia-Ukraine war within 24 hours… and it’s been about 4,400 hours. The clock keeps ticking!
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How badly does House Speaker Mike Johnson want to help Donald Trump quiet down the uproar over the Epstein files? He’s sending the House home early to avoid an awkward vote on releasing them.
But his machinations are just making the whole situation seem even more suspicious.
Lawmakers in the House were scheduled to vote on bills before heading out for summer recess. But Johnson and other GOP leaders couldn’t overcome bipartisan pressure to vote on releasing documents related to the late child sex predator Jeffrey Epstein, whose relationship with Trump has come under intense scrutiny over the past week.
Johnson — who recently called for the Epstein files to be released! — decided to end the session early and cancel votes. “We’re done being lectured on transparency,” he said, offering a head-scratching explanation.
“It is extraordinary that they’re so scared shitless over these Epstein files, that they’ve done something that I’ve never seen happen before. I mean, basically they just shut down for the week,” Rep. Jim McGovern (D-MA) said.
Even the loopiest GOP House members agree this move looks bad: “Crimes have been committed,” Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene (R-GA) said. “If there’s no justice and no accountability, people are going to get sick of it. That’s where people largely are.”
This isn’t the end of the Epstein files drama, Rep. Ralph Norman (R-SC) also criticized leaders for “stalling,” because “the American people deserve action, not excuses,” he tweeted. In the meantime, Republicans got some very important work done… like voting to advance a bill that would rename the Kennedy’s Center’s opera house after Melania Trump. |
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WHAT A SPONSOR
Here’s what’s up: Amnesty International has been defending human rights around the world for 60+ years, and they don’t take money from governments for their campaigns and research. That means no shady strings attached.
Right now they’re calling out Trump’s mass deportation campaign – which, surprise, is violating human rights and ripping apart families.
Want to help fight back? Go to amnestyUSA.org/help to donate. Your gift will be triple matched.
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FEMA’s head of search and rescue resigned, telling colleagues that he was frustrated by the Trump administration’s lackluster response to the deadly Texas floods. The official reportedly said Trump’s changes were sowing “chaos” in the emergency response agency, and fretted that DHS Secretary Kristi Noem’s requirement to personally approve any expense over $100,000 would hamper search and rescue missions. DHS called the official’s resignation “laughable.” Keeping it classy, as always.
The White House is looking for partners for its obscure, insanely expensive Golden Dome missile defence shield… who aren’t Elon Musk. Musk’s SpaceX was reportedly a frontrunner to build part of the dome, but now Trump’s team is eyeing a company owned by Amazon and big defense contractors for the job. Will Jeff Bezos be the new “first buddy”???
Coca-Cola said it will begin distributing Coke with cane sugar in the United States, in addition to its usual high-fructose corn syrup option. HHS Secretary Robert F. Kennedy is celebrating this switch as a big, healthy win… despite saying three months ago that “sugar is poison.” Fact check: Replacing one type of sugar with another isn’t substantially healthier, according to experts.
The Trump administration pulled out of “woke” UNESCO, the United Nations’ cultural and scientific organization, for the second time. The group oversees world heritage sites, and works on global issues like climate change and Artificial Intelligence. I guess they were worried the ancient Roman city of Pompeii was about to become digitally conscious, and align with China?
Speaking of “woke”: A father of three who fled with his family from Texas to Russia — to escape “woke America” — is reportedly being sent near the frontlines of the war. He enlisted in a non-combat role in the military, assuming he would become a welder or a war correspondent, but now he’s “being thrown to the wolves,” the man’s wife said.
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LET'S MEET, IRL
Hide your Diet Cokes and your universal healthcare, because Jon Lovett is coming to Canada for one night only. Lovett or Leave It is going to be in Montreal this THURSDAY, July 24th, for Just For Laughs with special guests Catherine Cohen, Mary Beth Barone, Zach Zucker, Roy Wood Jr., and Gianmarco Soresi, and then it’s back to Dynasty Typewriter in LA for the usual business. They've got a great lineup of guests in LA including Alice Wetterlund, Peppermint, Ken Jennings, Amy Schneider, Kristen Johnston, Mary Beth Barone and so many more! Grab tickets now atcrooked.com/events.
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Federal judges in New Jersey used an obscure rule to oust Alina Habba from her role as the state’s interim U.S. attorney, making Trump's Department of Justice big mad. “When judges act like activists, they undermine confidence in our justice,” tweeted Todd Blanche, Trump’s personal lawyer-turned top DOJ official. Yeah… that’s what undermines confidence in the system!
Local politicians brushed aside Donald Trump’s threat to gum up Washington D.C.’s football stadium deal, even if the Washington Commanders don’t change their name back to the Redskins. “People are making a big deal about something that should not be such a big deal, because the reality is that D.C. by law has rights to the RFK site,” said Ankit Jain, a shadow senator for the city. Once again, the emperor has no football uniform.
Stephen Colbert and Jon Stewart performed blistering monologues on their late night shows, blasting CBS and Paramount for canceling Colbert’s highly-rated program due to “financial reasons.” Stewart’s was especially colorful: “Fuck, fuck, fuck yourself. Just go fuck yourself,” he sang, dancing along with backup singers. These aren’t the enemies I’d want to make in the media world, personally, but… hey Paramount, you do you!
There’s a lot of bleak news out there, but here’s a helpful guide outlining seven simple ways to feel happier every day, according to a recent study. (As always, I attached a gift link.) We all gotta look out for ourselves and each other, more than ever. These tips are adorably referred to as “joy snacks.”
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