MATT BERG
& CROOKED MEDIA

WEDNESDAY
APRIL 9, 2025

They were getting yippy.” 

 
— Donald Trump, [explaining that he paused the tariffs]([link removed]) because everybody hated them.

THE THWART OF THE DEAL

Donald Trump blinked on tariffs, as if to confirm that his best decisions always involve retreating from his bad ones. 

- The stock market staged one of the greatest relief rallies in history today, with the S&P 500 spiking 9.5 percent after President Donald Trump finally smashed the pause button on his ludicrous tariff plan. Without warning, Trump [issued a 90-day pause]([link removed]). The U.S. will maintain a 10 percent general tariff, and also raise China’s rate to an eye-popping 125 percent. Fears of an [imminent recession eased]([link removed]) — and stocks posted their third-biggest day of gains [since the end of World War 2]([link removed]) (although they’re STILL lower than they were before Trump started this nonsense). 

- What changed Trump’s mind? “I thought that people were jumping a little bit out of line,” Trump told reporters[​]([link removed]). “They were getting a little bit yippy, a little bit afraid.” In other words… he saw the stock and bond markets collapse, and he chickened out. 

- The White House has used an astonishing amount of incoherence and downright jibberish to justify this baffling episode — even by Trump standards. Trump [claimed the tariffs]([link removed]) might be somehow both negotiable, and also permanent; he insisted he wasn’t considering a pause, right before he announced a pause. 

- Sen. Brian Schatz (D-HI) mocked Trump’s mixed messages in a social media post: “OUR PLAN IS WORKING PERFECTLY AND IS JUST A NEGOTIATING TACTIC BUT IT IS ALSO GOING TO BE PERMANENT AND WE WILL BE THE WORLD LEADER IN TEXTILES AND NOW THERE IS A PAUSE AND EVERYONE NEEDS TO CHILL BUT ALSO WE WILL NEVER BACK DOWN AAAAAAHHHHHH.” Well said, senator!
 

- Within a week, Mr. Orange Genius sparked a full-fledged trade war[​]([link removed]) with China, pissed off America's closest European trading partners, and sparked fears of a full-blown global recession. So far, he has nothing concrete to show for it. The loser, in this situation, couldn’t be clearer.

 
Trump even managed to convince some of his fans that he might not be a stable genius, after all. 

- You know Trump really stepped on a turd when Barstool Sports bro Dave Portnoy, podcaster Joe Rogan, and right-wing nitwit Ben Shapiro [start to turn against him]([link removed]). Portnoy recently estimated that he had lost about $20 million worth of stock and crypto, before today’s reversal. “I'm still gonna give him time,” Portnoy told CNN this morning, before the pause was announced. “Trump said, ‘It was a sick patient, we needed to take medicine.’ I’m taking my medicine. I don’t like my medicine but I’m willing to take it. I voted for him.” Asked if he’d support Democrats, Portoy responded: “Yeah, absolutely!”

- CEOs who backed Trump, like billionaire Bill Ackman, have also expressed buyer’s remorse[​]([link removed]). “My bad,” Ackman wrote on X on Sunday. “I assumed economic rationality would be paramount.” Once Trump took office, those rich dudes thought, he would usher in a new era of unbridled capitalism that would stuff their pockets. But once they saw that his tariff policy was making their investments do a nosedive off a 10,000-foot cliff, they uttered a collective: Oh… shit.

Ackman, however, now seems to be back to his regularly scheduled groveling: “This was brilliantly executed by @realDonaldTrump. Textbook, Art of the Deal,” he tweeted today. I can’t believe this [isn’t sarcasm]([link removed]).
 
Call out: Have the tariffs impacted you? We want to hear — and possibly read your story on the What A Day podcast! Write to us at [[email protected]]([link removed]).

NAME BLAME GAME

As part of the Trump administration’s efforts to pretend transgender people don’t exist, it’s waging a bizarre vendetta against pronouns… and even nicknames.

Federal employees at the National Institutes of Health have been told to stop using nicknames in their email signatures. Why would anyone care about that? Well, an email sent to staff cites Trump’s Executive Order 14168, which withdraws recognition for trans people. 

In other words, the goal, apparently, is to force transgender people to use their names assigned at birth ([ie, to “deadname” them]([link removed])).

Theoretically, a trans person could get around a ban on “nicknames” by legally changing their name. But that’s a hassle. One study from a few years ago [suggested 30 percent]([link removed]) of trans people change their legal names. 

“Im sorry… who gets to tell me what I can call myself?” one person wrote on the NIH Reddit page, [posting a screenshot of an email]([link removed]) with the directive (which another NIH worker confirmed to me was legit).

This rule ignores the simple fact that, y’know, many people in this world simply prefer to use a different name — including at least seven people in Trump’s cabinet. (Robert F. Kennedy Jr. is literally called “Bobby” [on White House page]([link removed]).)

What’s more, NIH Director Jay Bhattacharya recently [sent an agency-wide email]([link removed]) telling people to standardize their email signatures — while signing off using his nickname. (His full name is Jayanta.) Trump spokespeople didn’t immediately respond to a request for comment.

The stupidity doesn’t stop there. 

Loyal What A Day readers will remember that, one time, the White House [didn’t respond to my request]([link removed]) for comment… simply because I added pronouns to my email signature. That has also happened to [two other journalists at the New York Times]([link removed]).

I find it baffling that they care more about pronouns than giving journalists accurate information, but here we are.

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WHAT ELSE?

[Acting ICE Director Todd Lyons wants to model mass deportations]([link removed])… off of Amazon Prime.  “We need to get better at treating this like a business,” Lyons said at a border security convention. The process should be “like [Amazon] Prime, but with human beings.” Yeah, I can’t believe that’s real either. Absolutely heinous.
 
[The Trump administration froze $1 billion in federal funds]([link removed]) for Cornell and $790 million for Northwestern in its latest assault on higher education. The list of schools threatened by Trump’s team over alleged antisemitism now includes Brown, Columbia, Harvard, the University of Pennsylvania and Princeton.
 
[At least half of the Department of Justice lawyers who argue]([link removed]) for Trump in front of the Supreme Court have quit or are planning to leave. While those people have different reasons for leaving (how can you blame them), many aren’t cool with Attorney General Pam Bondi’s demand for “zealous advocacy” of Trump’s agenda. 
 
[Acting IRS commissioner Melanie Krause is expected to resign]([link removed]) after the agency struck a deal with ICE to share confidential taxpayer information to assist in tracking down migrants. She’s the third leader of the tax agency to leave since Trump took office. I have a feeling Trump is going to select tributes to serve as the administrator, like in the “Hunger Games,” because who the hell wants that job.
 
[The Trump administration plans to restore several foreign aid programs]([link removed]) for emergency food assistance that it previously terminated. Lawmakers and people inside the administration pressured the State Department to restore the awards, according to Reuters, in a hopeful sign that some powerful people with human decency are actively trying to make a difference!
 
[Jared Isaacman, Trump’s pick to run NASA, said he wants]([link removed]) to send astronauts to the moon again within the next few years, during his confirmation hearing today. But that’s contrary to Elon Musk’s desire for NASA to skip the moon and head to Mars… so we’ll see how long Isaacman lasts. If Musk could try to fly to Mars right now, that would be great!

[FBI Director Kash Patel hasn’t been showing up to his side gig]([link removed]) as acting director of the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, Firearms, and Explosives — so he was quietly replaced in that post. Ah yes, efficiency, when you hire someone to do a second job… and he doesn’t even show up!

THERE'S MORE WHERE THAT CAME FROM
 
If you're looking for more analysis on Trump's outrageous tariffs and the fallout, make sure to check out Crooked's foreign policy show, Pod Save The World. This week, Tommy Vietor & Ben Rhodes break down all the chaos from the US perspective. They also cover what came out of the Netanyahu meeting, South Sudan threat of civil war, and South Korea's presidential impeachment. Tune into [Pod Save The World]([link removed]) now on [YouTube]([link removed]), or wherever you get your podcasts.
 
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[A federal court ruled that the Trump administration must allow]([link removed]) Associated Press journalists access to White House events, after they were barred for refusing to use the name “Gulf of Mexico” instead of Gulf of America. Trump officials plan to appeal the decision.

[Elton John’s “Goodbye Yellow Brick Road,” Celine Dion’s]([link removed]) “My Heart Will Go On” and the “Hamilton” album were among the new titles chosen to enter the National Recording Registry this year, which is basically the Library of Congress’s hall of fame for albums. My favorite new admittee: “Minecraft” music. This stuff is an [incredible background music]([link removed]), seriously. 

[Speaking of Sir Elton John, he apparently made up with Madonna]([link removed]) after two decades of feuding (sparked after he accused her of lip-synching). “We Finally Buried the Hatchet!!!” Madonna wrote in an Instagram caption this week, along with a picture of the pair[​]([link removed]). “Thank you for forgiving me and my big mouth,” Elton wrote back. Awwwww.
 

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