Our beef is beautiful and theirs is weak.”
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Donald Trump’s kamikaze-style attack on America’s trade partners raises the risk of a global recession. And why the hell is he slapping tariffs on uninhabited Antarctic islands covered in penguins?
- Penguins have never done anything to the United States — or, at least, nothing to warrant a punitive tax on their exports. In fact, despite their formal attire, penguins simply aren’t known for conducting commerce with the U.S. That makes President Donald Trump’s decision to slap tariffs on Heard Island and the McDonald Islands, Australian territories inhabited by penguins and not by, y’know, any people… downright baffling.
- Trump is literally doing the opposite of what he was elected to do. Lots of people voted for Trump because they were mad about inflation and worried about the economy. Ironically, these moves are widely expected to drive up inflation and kneecap economic growth, creating a deadly pattern known as “stagflation.”
- Trump, who suffers from a severe case of brain-rot, is trying to spin all this carnage as a good thing. “THE OPERATION IS OVER!” Dr. Trump declared on Truth Social this morning. “THE PATIENT LIVED, AND IS HEALING. THE PROGNOSIS IS THAT THE PATIENT WILL BE FAR STRONGER, BIGGER, BETTER, AND MORE RESILIENT THAN EVER BEFORE.”
- Yeah… no. This ain’t Grey's Anatomy. And, unfortunately for us, this operation is hardly “over.” It’s likely to get worse before it gets better. The job losses have already started. Carmaker Sellantis announced 900 layoffs today at U.S. locations supplying auto plants in Canada and Mexico, thanks to the tariffs.
Even Trump’s tariffs on small island nations come with negative consequences for the U.S. when you look a little closer.
- Consider the British Indian Ocean Territory: The area is only occupied by U.S. and U.K. military personnel at the remote Diego Garcia base. (The main export is fish, predictably.) Two days ago, Trump signed off on a deal that would see the U.K. hand over the island chain located there to Mauritius, a small east African nation, while still allowing the base to operate for the next century.
- “It’s particularly bizarre, given that the British government is currently negotiating the future life of a military base that the U.S. military has long said is important,” David Vine, an expert who wrote a book about the base, told What A Day. “Why would you want to piss off your friends who are negotiating the long-term life of something you want? I wouldn't be surprised if folks in the Pentagon were hitting their heads when they saw this.”
Trump’s public meltdown has lasted all day: “I think it’s going very well —The MARKETS are going to BOOM,” he wrote in another post. Yeah, they’re going BOOM for sure! KA-booooom! |
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Is Elon Musk being replaced by… Laura Loomer?
Trump fired the staffers this morning, one day after he met with Loomer in the Oval Office. She reportedly showed him a list of people whom she deems disloyal. Loomer reportedly attacked the character of several members… in front of national security adviser Mike Waltz, who has been in hot water for “ recklessly” sharing sensitive information on the Signal messaging app.
The news shocked current and former Trump administration officials who spoke with me today. And not because of the firings — but because of the influence Loomer has over Trump. And it’s a bad sign for Waltz.
“This shows Waltz’s diminishing power, if he was overruled and has lost the ability to have final say on his staff,” a former Biden NSC official told What A Day.
It’s also surprising that Loomer was able to gain such direct access to the president. Pod Save America co-host Tommy Vietor, who was an Obama NSC spokesperson, put it this way:
“How on earth does a fringe lunatic like Laura Loomer get a 30 minute meeting with Trump to advocate for changes to his national security team??? This is a woman who called 9/11 an inside job,” he wrote on X. |
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Tufts University issued a declaration of support for graduate student Rumeysa Ozturk, who was arrested by immigration agents while walking to a Ramadan iftar dinner outside Boston last month. The school has “no information to support the allegations” the Trump administration has made about Ozturk supporting the Hamas militant group, Tufts President Sunil Kumar wrote. Take note, colleges, it’s time to stand up for your students!
Remember when Trump beefed with Gov. Janet Mills (D-ME)? Well, that had consequences: The acting head of the Social Security Administration privately called Mills a “petulant child” and ordered two data collection contracts to be terminated as punishment — knowing that the move could increase fraud, the Washington Post reports. Glad we have mature adults running the country!
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THERE'S MORE WHERE THAT CAME FROM
On this week’s Hysteria, Sam Bee joins Alyssa Mastromonaco to co-host. They dig into the Planned Parenthood Supreme Court case in South Carolina that could cut off Medicaid funding — setting a dangerous precedent for other states. As a board member of her state’s Planned Parenthood affiliate, Sam shares what’s at stake for millions who rely on it for cancer screenings, birth control, and basic healthcare. They also break down how Canada is processing the chaos in the U.S. — because as a Canadian, Sam has thoughts.
Listen to Hysteria now, wherever you get your podcasts. New episodes drop every Thursday. Subscribe so you never miss one.
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A treatment for Parkinson’s disease using artificial intelligence has drastically reduced symptoms in some patients, improving their motor functions. “It’s not a cure or miracle, but it’s definitely a game changer in the sense of feeling better day-to-day,” one patient said. It would be nice if the broligarchs focus their AI ambitions on stuff like this, that actually helps make the world a better place.
A nationwide “Hands Off!” movement against Donald Trump on Saturday is set to be the largest protest since the president began his term. There will be over 1,000 rallies and gatherings in all 50 states, and some 250,000 people have RSVPed, according to organizers. We love to see it.
This one’s for the rodent lovers out there: Rats in Birmingham, England are in “heaven” amid a weeks-long sanitation worker strike, which has caused 19,000 pounds of trash to pile up on the streets. Great premise for a Ratatouille sequel, amirite??? Except this time he’s got a Brummie accent, and makes mind-blowing fish and chips.
Rock legend Bruce Springsteen plans to release seven “lost” albums, spanning a 35-year period, on June 27. That distant rumble you hear is the sound of 9 million people in New Jersey raising beer glasses and cheering for their favorite son.
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