So basically, if you’re too doped up to know what’s going on, you won’t be as bothered by it. Fat, drunk and stupid *is* a way to go through life
Bad news for people in Hell, Michigan. What’s making you happy about where you are? Fake Spring in Chicago is a pretty good time… until it isn’t
BELEAGUERED STAFFERS W/ KEITH CONRAD, LAURA FINCH & SEAN MAGERS
Working in Congress may sound like a glamorous job—policy debates, historic votes, and rubbing elbows with power players. But the reality is often far less glamorous, most of the time you’re taking calls from crazy constituents, or worse, people like Keith Conrad
 | A Day in the Life of a (Beleaguered) Congressional Staffer News Sidequest Episode |
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SCI-FI SHORT STORIES - NARRATED BY DARREN MARLAR & PRODUCED BY KEITH CONRAD
As nurse Emily searches for a missing patient in the hospital’s abandoned west wing, she stumbles into a maze of forgotten rooms, lost souls, and eerie whispers from the past—until she realizes she might never find her way back.
 | Tales From the Blue Line - The Endless Ward Keith Conrad / Darren Marlar Episode |
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Labradors and humans share genes which make them more likely to become obese, study finds - It doesn’t show as much with Labradors, because they can’t deep fry things since they have no thumbs
Overdue book returned to New Jersey library after 99 years - If you’ve had it this long, why not wait until next year and make it an even 100? I’m sure they’ve already notified the next person on the waitlist for the book
4-year-old calls police in Wisconsin after mom eats his ice cream - Authorities say the situation was tense until officers arrived and negotiated a fair trade—one cookie for silence
900-pound dolphin crashes into small fishing boat in New Zealand - Chief Brody was unavailable for comment
'Winter is far from over': Polar vortex reversal could bring springtime snow to US - This is why no one likes you, Mother Nature
Southwest Airlines shifts to paid baggage policy to lift earnings - Assigned seats and now no free bags. I don’t even know who you are anymore, Southwest Airlines
Fake workmen dug up roads to power cannabis farms - If you’re wearing an orange vest and/or carrying a clipboard, no one will stop you from doing anything
Backyard s'mores named cause of massive Long Island brush fires, investigators say - Maybe take a couple of minutes and watch a YouTube video before you light a fire
North Carolina man's prediction comes true with $100,000 lottery prize - Since his predictions are so good, someone should ask him for the winning lottery numbers…
David’s Bridal wants to be a retail, AI and media powerhouse. And named a new CEO to lead the way - Just what we need, Skynet will decide to wipe out all of humanity after dealing with a Bridezilla