From DPNM Culinary Director <[email protected]>
Subject A Thanksgiving dessert recipe for your Republican relatives!
Date November 22, 2023 8:42 PM
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Democrats,
Looking for a last-minute Thanksgiving recipe to make for your MAGA Republican relatives? Look no further than our scrumptious Repumplikan Pie ! It’ll be sure to satiate any Trump fan’s appetite for extremism - even that wacky uncle who always brings up his “private tour” of the United States Capitol a few years ago…
To make this GOP classic, you’ll need a few signature far-right ingredients:
*
2
cans
election
denial
*
2
cups
climate
change
rejection
*
½
cup
loosened
gun
laws
*
1
cup
DeSantis’
Don’t
Say
Gay
Bill
*
1
heaping
tbsp
Trump’s
racist
Muslim
Ban
*
1
tbsp
corporate
tax-cuts
*
A
dash
of
book
bans
*
2
tbsp
anti-abortion
laws
that
criminalize
women
and
doctors
(slather
liberally
in
a
coat
of
Trump’s
spray
tan
to
create
a
bright
orange
sheen
upon
baking)
*
Optional:
8
drops
Tucker
Carlson
tears,
or
to
taste
Baking instructions:
1.
Preheat
the
oven
to
room
temperature
2.
Begin
by
denying
the
existence
of
any
ingredients
you
don't
like.
This
step
is
crucial
for
the
pie's
flaky
texture.
3.
Mix
climate
change
rejection
and
book
bans
until
all
fact-based
science
and
history
is
beyond
recognition.
4.
Whisk
in
weakened
gun
laws
carefully,
ensuring
no
common
sense
safety
measures
enter
the
mix.
5.
Gently
fold
in
DeSantis’
Don’t
Say
Gay
Bill
while
sprinkling
in
racist
Muslim
Ban
until
it
maintains
a
bland,
discriminatory
taste.
6.
Add
corporate
tax
cuts,
sweetening
the
pie
with
the
wealth
of
a
select
few.
7.
Incorporate
criminalizing
women
and
doctors
-
not
optional,
as
no
choice
is
allowed
in
this
step.
8.
In
a
non-stick
pan
coated
liberally
with
Trump
spray
tan,
bake
until
bright
orange,
crispy
and
bitter.
9.
Top
off
with
whipped
cream
Bon Appétit!
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Happy Thanksgiving,
DPNM Culinary Director
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Democratic Party of New Mexico
4013 Silver Ave. SE
Albuquerque, NM 87108
United States
Democratic Party of New Mexico
4013 Silver Ave SE, Albuquerque, NM 87108
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