Peaceful parenting may sound like an oxymoron, but it’s a real parenting style, and yes, it is attainable — if you’re willing to put in a lot of effort. And if you have the patience and dedication, that effort could very well be worth it. Peaceful parents have strong relationships with their kids, and those kids are well-prepared to become independent grown-ups who are in touch with their own emotions and carry on their family values.

So what exactly is peaceful parenting? It’s exactly what it sounds like — remaining calm and working through your own emotions when your kids color on the walls or throw tantrums or do anything that makes you want to pull your hair out. It also means relinquishing power and working with your children to find solutions to their behavioral problems rather than laying on the punishments. It doesn’t guarantee your kids will be peaceful — far from it, because kids are naturally loud, chaotic, and make big messes. But it does mean you won’t explode when dealing with those messes, and your whole family will be better off for it.