Carving out moments of connection amidst the chaos of parenthood is important. Very important. Without it, it’s easy to feel detached and distant. And when those feelings emerge, it’s also easy for frustration and resentment to ride piggyback. That’s why it’s so crucial for couples to prioritize intimacy. Quiet moments on the couch where you catch up. Planned date nights that help familiarize you with each other’s internal worlds. And, yes, sex.

It can, of course, be tough to find time or energy for sex. But busy parents who carve out time for it do two big things: they get intentional, and they get creative. At least that’s what we learned when we talked with ten such parents. Their answers all point to the same truth: intimacy — both physical and emotional — is a bedrock of a strong relationship. These couples don’t find the time; they make it.